We've had this conversation many times before.
So do I just let him be? It's not like I can do anything about it, I can't force him to work!
I feel your frustration my uBPDh is the same, they moan if they do, they moan if they don't! It seems so simplistic to us so why is it always like Groundhog Day? I guess all we can do is accept them for how they are and concentrate on making sure we're ok, you are right you can't make him do anything and trying to would be likely to cause more conflict. Sometimes I can smile, be calm and validating, sometimes I wanna scream n shake him n say just listen to yourself you know the answer but of course that would make it worse so I take the dog for a walk until I' m in control. Maybe the fact you keep having the same conversation is telling you it's not working so I guess it's up to you, maybe try a different approach? A quote I like is "Give me the strength to change what I can, the courage to realise what I can't and the wisdom to know the difference" I find this helps me assess the best thing to do,
good luck, stay strong, be happy