The more I reflect and the more a research the more I'm feeling this is a hopeless situation.
My ex is diagnosed BPD, Bipolar 1, with anxiety disorder. She denies the diagnoses, but after looking at her phsych ward records from the many suicide attempts I know this is a fact. Guess there is no treatment for people who are diagnosed and are still in denial!
I was actually researching antisocial personality disorder which although not diagnosed, it's very likely she is comorbid with this. Most other PD's she seems to fit maybe 1 or 2, not enough for a diagnoses. As far as ASPD she has to meet 3 out of 7 which scarily she meets all seven consistently.
There is a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the
rights of others occurring since age 15 years, as indicated by three
(or more) of the following: having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from
another.
1. Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful
behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest.
1. ) She has a very very very long wrap sheet. She gets arrested about monthly, or at least has the cops called on her. She has a history of domestic violence, drunk in publics, resisting arrest. She's on felony probation and continues to violate her probation under the assumption she wont get caught, even though she's been violated once last month she continues to break her probation.
2. Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases,
or conning others for personal profit or pleasure.
She lies soo much, even about little things that are of no consequence. I've caught her in lies so many times, it was a very frequent occurence. Lies about what she did for the day, lies about where she went, lies after lies. I've also seen firsthand her manipulate people into giving her money. I've seen her ask me for money for something, and spend it on drugs / alcohol then lie saying it got stolen.
3. Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead.
She is EXTREMELY impulsive, especially when using/drinking. Impulsive when it comes to engaging in risky behavior too including sleeping around and having unprotected sex with strangers. She has zero impulse control which allows her to escalate to violence in a matter of minutes and never thinks about how it lands her in jail. She also fails to plan ahead, she has zero goals, no aspirations to seek employment or go to school.
4. Irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated
physical fights or assaults.
This is the big one with her. She is extremely violent, especially when she is raging. She is extremely confrontational, putting down others. She has been arrested for physical violence against me, and most of her ex-bf's, hell she used a bat against her sister a couple weeks ago. When she reaches the devaluation phase, physical violence is almost a weekly occurence, and it's only 100x worse if she is using/drinking.
5. Reckless disregard for safety of self or others.
She is a multiple DUI offender, she has 3 DUI's. I've seen her many times get into my car drunk and drive without my permission despite not having a license. Her drunk in publics put herself at risk as well as others (common occurence).
6. Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure
to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial
obligations.
The few jobs she has had she stayed at for no more than a few months. Usually either quitting over disagreements with workmates "they dont like me", or she gets into a physical relationship with a workmate and it doesnt workout. She also has mounds of hospital debt, credit card debt, and personal debt to me which she has no intentions to pay off.
7. Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or
rationalizing.
The only remorse she ever shows is when it serves her needs. For the most part despite being 100% in the wrong for some egregious actions, she shifts blame or deflects it with illogical explanations (cheating), or that I was deserving of it (physical violence), or that it was my fault completely (her being arrested)
I know I cannot give a professional diagnosis, but what are your thoughts? Strong indicators?
At this point this coupled with her current diagnosis' does not bode well for a good future for her or us. I think I might just have to give up hope.
