You are doing great! I know you don't want to take the blame, but since he does blame you already, I wonder what might come if you said, "I'm sorry if I've come between you guys again. What can I do differently?" Because at this point, even I am baffled. If he says something ludicrous, you won't be any worse off if he's already thinking it. Does it help to know that I am frustrated with you? Too bad you can't leave next time... .
I think saying that I've come between them is compromising my integrity. I'll not be doing that. My bf knows his son is like this and will often drop out of site for several days not answering phones, etc. I
can and will leave and I've told my bf so. I told him that I'm not leaving for good, but I won't hang around at night while they are drinking like they do. That is my boundary and I'm sticking to it. I'll be spending tonight elsewhere.
The remodel has been taking its toll and I'm going to get blasted for anything and everything at this point. Last night he said the whole remodel would have been done by yesterday if I hadn't run his son off. I said nothing. He said that I said I'd have the tile in the shower up and running in a couple of days (never did say that) and I'm the one that's holding everything up. They were the ones holding ME up! I've told them what needed to get done so that I could do my part (tile) and then sat waiting. I tried not to push them, but made the suggestion several times that perhaps while I'm at work they could work on those things, but nope~~didn't happen. I didn't say anything more. I've just been working on the shower when I have time. He says I'm btching about everything if I say anything at all. I'm supposed to be happy about everything. I'm supposed to be grateful that my world is upside down because he's funding this project (the house belongs to him anyway) He is drinking excessively while his son is here and his behavior is out of control but I'm the btch... . and I'm not saying a word.
The son called last night saying he was on his way and arrived at about 9:30pm. I went to bed before he walked in the door~~I just wanted to be sure I'd get some sleep. I'm assuming they stayed up drinking. 4:30am he wakes me up trying to get out of bed, mumbling and cussing. Again... . I'm a btch... . I say nothing.
I've posted the little card (that he gave me the night he proposed) on my computer monitor so I see it every day as a reminder that he isn't always like the man I'm seeing right now~~this is Mr. Hyde. I look forward to having Dr. Jekyll back again if only for a while.
The strangest part of this is that I'm not the least bit angry right now. In the past week, he's called me every horrible name that I can think of and I haven't responded. Bravo, me? From what I've gathered from other discussions is that they will sometimes get worse when using the tools and techniques in the lessons. Is he going to try harder to get me to engage? Is there a chance that things will return to "normal" or is this the end of the line? Will he ever have that loving feeling after devaluing me so? I suppose I have 2 choices~~cut my losses and leave now or wait it out and see if Dr. Jekyll returns after the remodel. Big sigh.
