Hey Fireflyx29
Sounds like you're having a tough time of things, I'm sorry you're hurting. I can relate to what you are going through in many ways, my SO has had a diagnosis of PTSD to go with the BPD and it's been a tough ride.
But welcome to the forum,
you have come across a wonderful place to get support and answers to your questions, I know you have many right now. I can assure you that you are amongst people who understand the situation you are in, you're not alone. May I suggest one of the first things you look at is the abbreviations list at the top of this thread next to the Guidelines tag, you're going to see quite a few and it helps to get your head around them, plus it saves your typing fingers!
It's good that your GF is seeing a counselor, are you seeing anyone yourself? What have you been doing to take care of you? Do you have friends or family to talk to about this? Dealing with these situations can be emotionally exhausting and it's important to take care of you too.
By the fact you are here it shows you want to get a handle on what's been going on and the best place to start is the Suggested Reading at the top of the Undecided Board. The articles there can start to give you an understanding of the disorder and what our role is in the dysfunctional dance, how we can make things better, and most importantly in the first instance, what we can do to stop making it worse. Whilst it is true that the behaviors you have described are unfortunately not unusual in this type of relationship, it doesn't mean it has to be this way forever, you've taken the first step towards making
your situation better, whatever
you decide to do.
So start reading and keep posting, the answers will start coming!
