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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: Dreams (aka another form of intuition)  (Read 457 times)
daze
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« on: March 23, 2013, 09:03:00 PM »

I have had several dreams over the course of my life that I think warned me about myself, situations, and other people.  I wonder if dreams chime in when we fail to heed our intuition?  The dreams I'm referring to are vivid and seem symbolic and when I awaken it feels that I have experienced something profound.  Then I consider what the dream means, what my subconscious is trying to share, if anything.  It seems that many times I have discounted the dreams and intuition when I should have paid attention. 

I wonder how many people here have had dreams like this about themselves, relationships, and the pwBPD?  And whether they paid attention to the dreams or discounted them, as I often have. 

At the risk of putting myself out there, here are some of my dreams that come to mind ---

1) I dreamed that the university I attended was turned into a concentration camp.  This was after I graduated.  I didn't understand why the people there didn't revolt and take over the camp.  I think this was a warning about the mindset I had in my teens and early 20s.

2) When I moved back to my hometown after living on a coast for several years, I dreamed I was in my great-grandfathers house and I found a new room with a closet that had a chest that had several large and disgusting bugs in it.  The bugs were dying but terrifying nonetheless.  I think this had to do with the disillusionment I felt about being around my FOO after several years away.

3) When my first husband and I divorced, I dreamed I lived in a house in a neighborhood behind the neighborhood where I grew up.  I went into the attic and found that it went on and on, much bigger than the house, and was filled with beautiful and fascinating things and had much more natural light than it should have had.  I think this represented optimism/potential about my life without my ex-husband.

4) When my children were little and my uNPD/BPD mother (I didn't recognize her issues until now and had been confused by her all my life) helped me with my children while I worked, I dreamed I was driving with the children and my mother either to or from her house and she caused us to drive over a bridge into the river.  I think this was clearly a warning about my mother and the effect she had/has on me.  We are very low contact now.

5) Again when my children were little, I dreamed that I lived in an apartment and there was a woman there who was a vampire-type being and we got into several mortal combat type situations (very Matrix-like fighting).  I think this was about me fighting my own nature or perhaps something to do with my mother.

6) Shortly after I met a man who I had a fairly long-term relationship with, I had a dream that his younger brother came into my house which was made of glass and filled it with something sewage like.  It turned out he had a porn/sexual addiction which was a deal breaker for me but it took me a long time to break out of it.

7) Shortly after I married my pwBPD when he first began showing obvious traits, I had a dream that I was very sick physically and developed a welt-type thing under my skin that was penis shaped and wrapped around my head, neck, and torso.  I think this was a clear warning that something in me is not right.

8) Last night I dreamed that I married a man (not exactly my pwBPD) in a joint ceremony with him and another woman.  He wanted to be with her more than he wanted to be with me.  I think this came from therapy when my T said my husband's alcoholism is his wife and I am the mistress.

Anyway, I am a pretty down to earth and practical person but I do wonder about dreams sometimes.  I think many times I have been able to recognize the messages I was sending myself but discounted them because I didn't trust myself - which I think is a by-product of growing up in my FOO, namely my NPD/possibly BPD mother.

It seems if we discount our intuition, the dreams may be just another way that the subconscious tries to get our attention. 

Thoughts?

Daze









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Mountaineagle
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« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2013, 10:44:44 PM »

I think vivid dreams are very important, and I have always tried to listen to them. They always have something awesome to tell me. I am a strong believer of the collective unconscious and dreams being the gateway to experience this. Many times I did not understand the dream at the time, but a seed had been sown in my consciousness, and a while later I would experience something that made the dream comprehendable, sometimes years later. I have just gotten such a message. It is a really long story, because I dreamt my dream in the fall of 2007, and a month ago I got the final cue. I can't even attempt to write down this story here because it is so long, but it is directly related in many, many ways to the relationship with exBPDgf, and very magically. The message I got from it was that fear is battled head on with real consciousness, being truly mindful and in the present. I now have the experience of fear on that level, and the tools to confront it.

This video is not directly related to dreams or anything like that, I linked it so you could see that the unconscious knows: www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2gK7iw9Sdk&list=FLT2nlOW82Mx5G1V-Zf9hnXw&index=9  
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