Tricked again...

[crazedncrazymom]

Hi everyone,

I know it's been awhile since I've posted.  I have been reading and keeping up with you all, but just haven't had the heart to post. 

My dd15 was transferred to a new rtf on Feb 28.  She had a rough start but was making great progress.  She started participating at least a bit with her groups and her therapist and she was doing much better at working with us.  A couple weeks ago I went out and took her on a day pass.  It went really great.  We had a nice time and had talked about her coming home for the weekend on her birthday.  She turned 16 on Friday.  Everything went well for the two weeks and she met all requirements for a home pass.

I drove 3 hours to pick her up.  We stopped and had a nice lunch.  We picked up her b'day cake (ice cream cake from Coldstone YUM!) and headed home.  As soon as I pull in the driveway dh comes outside and pulls me to the side and told me they had found a suicide note back at the rtf and we needed to take her back.  So we talked to dd, gave her a slice of cake and headed back.  She told us that she fooled us all into thinking she was ok and had spent the entire month making sure she could come home so she could kill herself. 

She spent the weekend swallowing anything she could get her hands on... .   bobby pins (in the car on the way back), hair clip, nail polish and an earring.  At one point she was found underneath her blanket with a shoestring around her neck and put on one to one supervision.  RTF just called while I was typing this and currently she has 103 fever and rtf is concerned she may have an infection from all that stuff she swallowed.  She is on her way to the er as I am typing this.  Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Hello crazed,

So sad to read this :'(

I pray that she will come out of this alright.

I'm very concerned that the rtf and peers there are being dupped. Have you been involved in her therapy?  What kind of therapy model are they using in the rtf?  Also concerned that at less than the 2 month mark they are giving her home visits... .  

Does this rtf and individual t specialize in BPD? Personality disorders in general?

lbjnltx

[mggt]

Hello crazy mom,  So sorry to hear the news about your d . They are very good at lying and making all of us believe them .  This is why BPD can be so dangerous among many other traits.  Hope she is going to be ok and sending your prayers and hugs mggt

[jellibeans]

oh crazy mom... .   I am beside myself with grief ... .   I am so sorry... .   I need to gather my emotion a bit here because you have hit pretty close to home for me.

It is good they found the note... .   how good they are at deceiving... .   pretending... .   I am concerned also about how she was able to fool them but then again I have seen it in my own dd15 many times. I have had her old principal tell me how hard it is to believe she is having problems... .   she seems so happy at school... . etc... .   well many suicide attempts later I hope he final realized how sick see is. Your dd is struggling... .   was she going to kill herself so she didn't have to go back to the RTC? Was that the plan or would she have done this regardless.

My heart aches for you... .   please keep us posted... .   I am saying a little prayer for you both... .   be strong at least they found the note... .        

[crazedncrazymom]

DD is fine. She has the flu so she is being treated.  They did an x-ray and saw several foreign bodies that she had ingested (as we knew).  They seem to be passing safely through her system.

Hey LBJ,

They do a mixture of cbt and dbt.  I was happy that they allowed her to come home.  well, at least at the time I was happy.  I couldn't imagine a worse 16th birthday than spending the day at a rtf.  I'm concerned that she was so good at being deceptive with everyone.  I was just speaking with her therapist and the therapist said dd seemed to be starting to open up with her and talk with her.  Now, she has completely shut down and is refusing to participate in therapy. 

I've talked with dd about how now she has shown everyone including herself that she understands what is expected of her and that she is capable of doing it so just keep doing that and eventually she'll figure things out easier.

I am amazed at how well she tricked everyone.  It is so sad and so scary that she had everyone so completely fooled. 

[mggt]

Dear crazy mom.  So Glad your d is going to be ok with the items she swalloed,  hopefully things will get better one day at a time , or one minute at a time sending your our prayers  

[lbjnltx]

Oh good!  So glad she is going to be ok.

Yeah, I would be fearful of the faking cooperation.  The pro's need to be able to differentiate between real progress and manipulation.