weeks are getting harder

[firefly360]

Sine i broke up with my exBPD girlfriend after a 3 year relationship. Its been 3 weeks I feel hatred and pain I don't understand how she could slip right back into her past. She now sleeps with random men, does meth, last week she met a homeless guy on internet then she has him move in within 3 days. I feel soo much pain and misery I've tried playing videogames again, working out, listening to music, nothing seems to be helping.

I've finally broke down 3 days ago and cried it seems like she never really cared. I found out from her friend the she cheated on me 5 times and never really loved me just used me. I have soo much confusion I've done soo much for her. Been at her side during 3 surgeries, helped her get off meth when she relapsed, and helped her through soo much and then for her to turn around stab me in the back. She tell everyone that we know I'm the bad guy.

She has a new man now lost all feeling for me and not a care in the world. I've feel like I hit rock bottom. My family doesn't see my pain. After reading alot of these posts I don't understand why they do this to us? Don't they suffer pain? Why do they move on soo quickly and forget you exist? Why cant they see their actions on others?

[Surnia]

So sorry to hear about your pain! 

Good, you could cry at least once, 3 days ago.

Yes, it is hard, she is very distorted, has mental and serious drug problems and so it is difficult to understand. We humans have different possibilities to react: Fight, flight and freeze. She seems in flight. The next man, drugs, its perhaps on a first glimpse working.

Thinking in long terms, facing your pain, your anger is much healthier. We would wish our families would see our pain, however not all are able to do so. You have a huge family here 

Keep us posted firefly.

[Scott72]

So sorry Firefly like you I have cried n cried over my ex and my situation isn't as bad as yours. Everyone says I'm a great guy and deserve better, but they can't see how much I love her! but I'm sure the same applies to you and hopefully we will gain the happiness we deserve. Good to know we are not completely alone, we have all these great folk on here. Hope things improve soon