He's looking at personal ads...

[Kunoichi]

Every time I think husband and I have a breakthrough he does something to slap me in the face AGAIN!

I am battling with him about his sexual deviances and I have keylogging software on his pc that is taking screenshots every minute and logging everything he types. I suppose I am to blame for what I am finding because I could just delete the software and leave his pc alone but then that would just make me a stupid ostrich.

I have caught my husband with child porn before... .  see this post https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=200014.0 and I'm not about to let him get away with THAT crap so I monitor his pc. He has no idea I am doing this and less than a  month ago I found some crap on his pc that he has no business looking at.

So, now what have I found? He's looking at personal ads but it's not just any personal ads he's been looking at it's M4M and T4M ads.

Why do I still allow him to do this to me? I seriously hate myself right now. I want to fly into him like a hot knife through butter but I have nowhere to go, no family close-by hell I don't even have a friend I can turn to and besides I have pets that I DO NOT trust him with. He will hurt them to hurt me.

My stomach has been in knots all month and right now it is hurting so bad I'm nearly doubled over. Maybe I'm just overreacting but for Christs sake why does he need to look at stuff like that? What is wrong with me? Why do I stay? Am I just the worlds dumbest woman? Glutton for punishment? I want to scream until my throat bleeds! I HATE HIM!

[Kunoichi]

So I decided that I was not going to hold this in and I went off but I did not explode. I confronted him about looking at the personal ads which of course he denied even though I have rock solid evidence that he did.

I told him that there will never be another time that swinging will occur with me as a participant. I even told him that since he wants to lie to me constantly and insult my intelligence by lying that he will NEVER have sex with me again for as long as he lives.

He of course is trying to deny everything saying he never looked at the personal ad of a transvestite even though it is plainly in the evidence I have. He claimed he never looked at a couples ad looking for another swinging couple although I have evidence that he did that too.

I told him that he can do whatever the hell he feels he has to because I am no longer emotionally invested in him. I also told him he can keep looking at the personal ads because now he needs them.

I'm sick of and done with his crap!

[Surnia]

Bellamina

So sorry to hear about your very difficult situation right now.

What about reaching out for a help desk for internet/porn addiction? They could tell you more to handle it, about the legal side.

Right now you are handling it alone. I have my doubts about the key logging thing. Should his pc get investigated, you could be even be a confidant with the key logger.