seeking balance, Never thought of it as way of coping. I figued with teh randon text and then adding me back it was a way of just kind of being in my face.
yeah, if I could add a number 11 on the False Belief article that keep us stuck it would be random "popping" up in not necessarily a recycle attempt, more likely - she used the memory of you to cope with something.
PwBPD have very intense emotions - most of how they act is to alleviate those emotions - not about you. How many times have you read on this board, recycling takes 2. Many times, the contact itself was enough for your pwBPD to relieve some intense emotion - it is when WE think it means more that we engage, get hopeful, are nice... . well, what better way to feel good than be around someone nice? So, the pwBPD plays the role while it feels good - eventually, the same triggers occur - they leave and we wonder "how did that happen again?"
It happens because we fail to realize this is a real disorder and once the cycle of push/pull starts - it continues until a new factor is introduced... . another person by them or we have enough.
I think I had just tried to put her out of mind during my vaction since this was a vaction that we ahd discussed for us. And it worked pretty good. But when I got that text it just put thing sback in my mind, it brought the sadiness back that this should have been us taking that vaction instead of just me. since then I have been pretty down and out. It brought about so much sadness.
It is ok to be sad, this is a normal part of grieving. Let yourself feel it - you only will have to go through this once.
Keep living your life, feel sadness as you need to - I used to hate when people would tell me "this too shall pass"... . but it is true.
