Small Victories

[jvseattle]

Here is my intro for background: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=201805.0

Today I had to figure out how to split our cell phone plan. By doing so I saw on the website the hundreds of text messages she's sent and received in the last week, from one specific number I don't recognize. My first instinct was panic, and I even started formulating plans to look at her phone and see what all these messages are.

Then I stopped. Took a breath, and started reading some posts here. I know exactly what I would find there and it wouldn't help me at all. Chances are she's telling her new fling how unattractive and boring I am. Whatever, she said the same things to me in the beginning. Anything it takes to build up my replacement.

So I calmed down, realized what I was doing, and instead called and made plans to go after work with a friend to get happy hour tacos. I think this plan is way healthier and tastier.

So folks, have any small victories today?

[KE151]

Awesome JV!

No victories of this scale here today. Bit by bit... .

[GreenMango]

So I calmed down, realized what I was doing, and instead called and made plans to go after work with a friend to get happy hour tacos. I think this plan is way healthier and tastier.

Good Plan!   

So folks, have any small victories today?

Not yet but the day is young... .

Congratulations - go have some fun - I'm guessing you deserve it. 

[seeking balance]

Here is my intro for background: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=201805.0

Today I had to figure out how to split our cell phone plan. By doing so I saw on the website the hundreds of text messages she's sent and received in the last week, from one specific number I don't recognize. My first instinct was panic, and I even started formulating plans to look at her phone and see what all these messages are.

Then I stopped. Took a breath, and started reading some posts here. I know exactly what I would find there and it wouldn't help me at all. Chances are she's telling her new fling how unattractive and boring I am. Whatever, she said the same things to me in the beginning. Anything it takes to build up my replacement.

So I calmed down, realized what I was doing, and instead called and made plans to go after work with a friend to get happy hour tacos. I think this plan is way healthier and tastier.

So folks, have any small victories today?

jvseattle - I am going to officially give you a BIG VICTORY today!

You took care of yourself and didn't personalize her actions - well done... . very impressive 

[leftbehind]

That is HUGE!  I'm so happy for you, JVSeattle.

My small victory is that I really have been wanting to check his facebook the last couple of days, but haven't.  I checked last Monday because my intuition told me it was time, and I saw that he's dating someone else.  I feel that's all I needed to know, anything else I might find by checking is just torturous overkill.  So I'm proud that so far I've resisted going back to check.

[jvseattle]

Hey leftbehind, I know how tough that is. You feel so attached and possessive, you still feel responsible for them and their well being.  I know completely blocking all their social media has helped me a lot.  Remove the temptation and you're less likely to see things that set you back. Focus on you.

[leftbehind]

I'm sure you're right, but I'm not there yet.  I was actually glad that I saw he's dating someone else (even though it felt horrible) because now whenever I have the thought of writing or calling him, I remind myself he's moved on to another woman.