Causes and Development and Progression of BPD?

[boppy]

One thing I've been wondering about here is that the BPD person I am concerned about:

They say that child abuse is the cause and there was some child abuse and very likely sexual abuse. (She remembers sexual abuse at a very young age but it is hard to verify.) There was most definitely child abuse and neglect.

This person also seemed to have severe depression when in college. And basic disorganization in life, inability to deal with life.

Then after college, alcohol abuse hit. Then other substances but primarily alcohol.

But the real borderline traits seemed to grow slowly over time. They seemed to get worse and worse with each relationship. Now she has had a TERRIBLE relationship. Maybe the worst one yet.

So it seems to get worse and worse after each relationship--is it going to get even worse? Because the delusional thinking is coming up much more now than it was and seems to gradually grow over time.

So: Is it normal for a person to develop BPD over time? For it to get worse over time?   Does it progress?

I don't know where it's going to go from here. It just seems like the trauma accumulates and makes this person worse after each bad experience. The bad choices lead to the bad experiences, then after each bad experience there is a crash and then next the person is much more impaired.

I wonder if this is typical.

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[ScotisGone74]

I work in the healthcare field, but my knowledge of BPD is limited to only my past relationship.  From my experience seeing this, all other things being equal, is that each relationship only brings more 'baggage' to the BPD person.   They believe at the beginning of each relationship that this is going to be the one that is going to take out away all of their frustration, anger, unhappiness and the world for them will be truly awesome, a regular Disneyland... .  but eventually their new relationship partner doesn't do everything they wanted, doesn't approve of their totally off the wall behavior, or just gets too close to them emotionally, then the wheels start to fall off.  With each subsequent relationship that falls apart that has to take them down the totem pole a notch, facts are facts, once you've been married four or five times with countless girl/boyfriends in between marriages and during marriages, at some point they know something is wrong and make an actual attempt to get professional help-sometimes their family can intervene enough to make them, or they continue leaving a path of broken relationships and devastation, continuing to slide further down to complete mental, emotional, psychological distortion,  I've seen it go both ways.

[boppy]

I guess what I am curious about is:  WHEN does the person get BPD?

Has anyone else seen that--the onset period?

I know it is from childhood. But it is weird to know a person and then see them get BPD. I know she did not always have it. She had some problems--then each year, it has been worse and worse.

I wonder if it will always be this way--get worse and worse and worse.

[waverider]

Rarely is it one defining factor. Rather it numerous high risk factors, which can combine to increase the risk. Its a bit like cancer risks, certain situations may increase the potential but not gurantee it happening.

Genetics is one factor. One sibling may develop it and one may not. Invalidating family background, or peer pressure, may trigger it, then again it is not necessarily a contributing factor. A specific traumatic issue may trigger it. As you can see some will experience all the above and hence be at high risk. Some may experience all the above yet still be unaffected.

The real issue is that once it takes a hold the sufferer starts to act "odd". So this behavior starts to be self fulfilling especially if no one around them takes it seriously, hence adding fuel and making it worse. The behavior starts to become entrenched as they have to hide and deny their behaviors, become abandoned on a regular basis, and everything spirals.

BPD never used to be diagnosed at an early age due to the established pattern being required for diagnosis, but that requirement is being slowly relaxed and it is being diagnosed more and more in teens, in an attempt to reduce the spiraling reinforcement

[waverider]

By the way it is common for the symptoms to subside with older age (but not always so).

I believe the biggest step is for those closest to fully understand the disorder and stop making it worse, and to avoid thinking they can make the pwBPD "snap out of it".

[almost789]

BPD develops in childhood, but they don't diagnos personality disorders in childhood because the personality is not completely developed yet. Can you imagine trying to diagnosis a teenager based on their flailing crazy emotions and behaviours? But, alot of "foster" children, with history of abuse and neglect can be diagnosed with "reactive attachment disorder"  which later can be diagnosed as a personality disorder, and frequently BPD in adulthood. Some BPD people have significant childhood trauma, while others do not. I personally know people who have BPD who did not have any significant childhood trauma. So they think that some other factor there plays a role. Predispositioned highly sensitive emotional reactivity, combined with some minor parental/family irritation. I have read that BPD people get better as they age. I know people who say they got WORSE as they age. I think it depends on their environment and what type of relationships they come in contact with. I think its easy to psychologically damage a person with BPD with relationship trauma because they don't have a firm sense of self and identify with whoever they get attached to.

[qkslvrgirl]

My mother was officially diagnosed NPD/BPD at about age 60 but had actually lived for years with mental issues (depression, etc.). Her therapist at the time told me that she would probably be like this the rest of her life.

Then when she was about 72 or 73 yo, she had her own "awakening" and became a totally (and genuinely) happy person seemingly overnight. She told us that one day she realized that there was nothing for her to fear - she was the one controlling her emotions. She implied it was a spiritual awakening and was really a changed person for the rest of her life - another 20 years.

It was really quite miraculous - her going from an obviously troubled personality to a quite fun and lively person.

I doubt this is typical, but I wanted to share what happened with people who might want to know that it can get better with age.