Progress

[connect]

Hi guys,

Thanks so much for all your help as ever x

I went round there last night to say some things I wanted to say. I was accepting that this wouldn't necessarily change anything but I wanted to say them anyway.

To cut a long story short (don't have much time now) he acted completely normally with me when I arrived. Chatted normally for a few hours about light stuff. Talked a bit about his meltdown and his feelings.

Watched a film, joked and even flirted. Said my piece to him. We talked but I kept it brief as I am not expecting to talk about this stuff much straight away.

He asked me to spend the night so I did. We will see each other again on Tuesday.

Its a good start. I think I may be getting towards radical acceptance here as I see the reality of what he is like and the realism of what these r/s's can be like and what I can and can not expect. This weekend I will be practising getting some space in my head that's not full of him and thinking about me and processing my own stuff. I will put my rose coloured spectacles away in a drawer for this one.

I do feel so much happier to have him back in my life   x I will be working on acceptance of how that fits in with my life now.

Thanks guys  

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[waverider]

Be prepared for the ebb and flow of this new found acceptance and clarity. That is even part of acceptance itself.

[connect]

Thanks waverider - I will.

I am not expecting this feeling to hold forever but I am sure as hell going to try. Might do some journaling this weekend too.

This morning I could foresee a potential trigger situation for me so I left his house before it could arise. These are the things I can do for myself. Am also reading up on mindfulness and the wise mind. Responding instead of reacting and CBT for me to change my go-to reactions (which probably stem from my FOO). I am aiming to become more centred and as a co-dep I imagine this will take some time and hard work.

Thanks

[waverider]

Centering is a good thing for us all to work on as it enables us to see more clearly, and often sooner, when things may be going astray so we can head them off before they even become a noticeable issue.

Goes a great way towards avoiding resentment and reactionary behavior