one year out

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I am one year out of a BPD relationship. although this is my first round with an online support group. I do have a therapist that I work with for real time support. the BPD was a friend. the most intense relationship though I have been in. im sure a lot of you can relate. the first six months out were rough because the BPD stalked and harassed me. I continued no contact and after six months the person gave up. so the past six months have been better and im no longer living in fear of some sort of retaliation for going no contact. there is still a fear though this person will pop back up out of the blue. and a year out I still ruminate over the ver bal abuse. I was verbally abused by my mother and the BPD knew it. she found my vulnerable spots and preyed on them. I challenge those negative thoughts but it opened old wounds. any help would be appreciated.

[taaffee]

I am one year out of a BPD relationship. although this is my first round with an online support group. I do have a therapist that I work with for real time support. the BPD was a friend. the most intense relationship though I have been in. im sure a lot of you can relate. the first six months out were rough because the BPD stalked and harassed me. I continued no contact and after six months the person gave up. so the past six months have been better and im no longer living in fear of some sort of retaliation for going no contact. there is still a fear though this person will pop back up out of the blue. and a year out I still ruminate over the ver bal abuse. I was verbally abused by my mother and the BPD knew it. she found my vulnerable spots and preyed on them. I challenge those negative thoughts but it opened old wounds. any help would be appreciated.

[bpdspell]

Congrats on being a year out.

Like yourself I was stalked and harassed by my ex until I made the choice to get a restraining order. Even still... . there were prank calls, blocked calls and he would even park his car right in front of my building almost nightly. Just little creepy passive-aggresive stuff to get under my skin.

Yes BPD's can be abusive... . my ex was physically abusive, emotionally abusive, sadistic, and blaming. I thought mine was a friend because I knew him for 9 years from the neighborhood... . turns out he was mentally ill and I didn't even know it. He looked so normal and was so handsome I thought I hit the love lotto.

My restraining order is for 5 years and I'm now on year 2 of it... . I see him often because we live so close by but for the most part he's left me alone and I honestly think he's fearful of prison.

I initially shared secrets with my ex that he used right away to punish me with and I learned then that he couldn't be trusted even as I continued the relationship.

They are really tortured, toxic, souls and are sick in the head and heart.

Continue to post your stories and questions. We're here to listen, validate, and share.

Spell

[taaffee]

thank you so much spell. I am so sorry you went through all that. I have a mother that is BPD as well that I went no contact with ten years ago. well very limited contact anyway. so this brought all that trauma back in some ways. I g uess that is what is making it so hard to get the words out of my head.