Who is your support system?

[changingme]

Just curious for those parents out there, especially the single ones, who is your support system while you are supporting your child with BPD?

As we know BPD in a relationship is hard for people to understand and I feel I am having the same frustrations when it comes to D13.  Ironically the only person on this earth that "gets it" and can help is her father (who is my ex pwBPD and undiagnosed).  

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

In no certain order:

Outpatient family therapist

Inpatient treatment team while in RTC

This site

My mother who knows about her diagnoses

My husband (her dad)

My God

[twojaybirds]

Single mom here with 19dd and here is my support system I order:

long term female friend who totally gets it and teaches boundary setting at the university level and lives about 2 hours away

this site

great female friend who understands MI works in human services but also struggles with depression herself and lives in town

fairly new boyfriend who is committed to understanding and learning

professional female friend who has a son with schizophrenia (onset  age 23 after completing college with no prior suspicions)

[BioAdoptMom3]

You are right.  Most people who haven't dealt with this just do not get it.  I am so tired of hearing:

That is a bunch of bologna.  All she wants is attention and she knows she has you where she wants you!

How in the world can she fear rejection when she knows you adopted her and loved her (sorry, but at almost 14 she knows she had to be rejected before she could be loved by someone else)?

She's just a normal teenager with raging hormones (sorry again, but normal teens do not cut themselves, starve themselves and purge their food)!

And the list goes on and on as I am sure yours does too!  My heart goes out to you dealing with this as a single mom!  I tend to rely a lot on this board, NAMI and my best friend who also has a DD adopted out of foster care and shows BPD traits.  Have you checked to see if there are any support groups in your area for parents of kids who have a mental/emotional illness diagnosis?

 and prayers!

[Reality]

changingtimes,

If your ex understands her, that is very good.  Does he have a lot of contact with your daughter?

Support can be found in unusual places... .

Reality

[changingme]

Bioadoptmom3,

I hear a lot "she is just a teen"

I haven't looked into support groups yet, but that is a good idea.



Reality,

Yes contact everyday, they have a good relationship.  I agree it is very good.  It's not the best for me though because it makes it hard to completely detach.  I know I need at least someone/something else to lean on so there is a healthier balance for me. 

[lbjnltx]

Changing times,

Have you viewed this video?

https://bpdfamily.blogspot.com/2013/05/bpdfamily.html

You could check and see if there is a Family Connections program run by the NEA BPD in your area.  If not, NAMI is a close second.