He cried and ran away when i talked about the divorce he asked for?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

My husband has left 5 weeks ago for another woman but he tells me the relationship started to weeks after he moved in with her and her mother the lies continue. Because he now lives 3 hours away iv allowed him to stay in the spare room when he comes to see the kids. While he was here this week i approached the topic of divorce he ran and locked himself in the bathroom and was sobbing!

He tells me he still loves me tells me i will never understand how he feels about me, very confusing. He wants to hold me, kiss me everything like nothing happened and to top it all his suggested we continue a physical relationship while his with his girlfriend! I softly told him i cant do that as this will definantly make me lose respect for myself he said he still wants me and but he will repect my wishes adding how much he loves me, he texts me through the day to tell me he loves me.

Iv taken just to being nice and not starting any fights with him there is no point its like fighting and talking to a wall! So i nod and smile easier this way. I would like to know if anyone knows why they behave in this way i know they find being alone scary but his with someone he claims he loves they have spoken about moving in together, getting married even children in the short time they have been together so why is he still hanging on to me if his got my replacement there why does he still want me hanging on while as he puts it clears his mind?

Very confused please help!

[awomanlearning]

My husband has left 5 weeks ago for another woman but he tells me the relationship started to weeks after he moved in with her and her mother the lies continue. Because he now lives 3 hours away iv allowed him to stay in the spare room when he comes to see the kids. While he was here this week i approached the topic of divorce he ran and locked himself in the bathroom and was sobbing!

He tells me he still loves me tells me i will never understand how he feels about me, very confusing. He wants to hold me, kiss me everything like nothing happened and to top it all his suggested we continue a physical relationship while his with his girlfriend! I softly told him i cant do that as this will definantly make me lose respect for myself he said he still wants me and but he will repect my wishes adding how much he loves me, he texts me through the day to tell me he loves me.

Iv taken just to being nice and not starting any fights with him there is no point its like fighting and talking to a wall! So i nod and smile easier this way. I would like to know if anyone knows why they behave in this way i know they find being alone scary but his with someone he claims he loves they have spoken about moving in together, getting married even children in the short time they have been together so why is he still hanging on to me if his got my replacement there why does he still want me hanging on while as he puts it clears his mind?

Very confused please help!

[Wishful thinking]

Dear AWL

You know, im going through a similar experience and would appreciate some advice on this topic as well. I can relate with the confusion you are experiencing.

Its been one month since BPDh concluded that he wants to divorce me.

I was devastated BUT  not afraid of him leaving me anymore as these has been constant threats before.

I found on fb a 2nd profile of his. He was in relationship with some other girl. When i approached him he said that he only knew her since the week before (lie) the list goes on. Hes been writing letter to her a few weeks earlier.

To me he betrayed my trust. He humiliated me and it hurt. Its then when I decided that I couldnt do this any longer. This emotional affairs has happened before in our marriage.

After this discovery he keeps telling me that he loves me. Wants me back. Like your h, he often says how i dont understand the deep feelings he has for me. He no longer wants a divorce. And he wants to fight for us. He just got a promotion at work. He often talks about how we can continue to have sex after hes moved out if it comes to that. He wants to make love many times. Suddenly he would clean up his room - hes in the spare. Suddenly he washes the dishes. Hes a good boy all of a sudden.

In the end, im left confused.

Confused cos there is still some feelings in my heart for him. Confused because i say to myself maybe this time will be different. But in the end Im angry at myself also for diminishing the ways hes been treating me through our marriage and for even considering the sick things hes proposing. 

Looking forward to see some responses on your thread.  Thnx.

[awomanlearning]

OH I KNOW THAT CONFUSION! Take it from me i think they say what they feel we love them and they abuse that its cruel. I have to have him here for 3 days a week at the moment until his cash cow runs out of money to keep giving to come here costs about £80 gas to come see his kids. He asked me to be the other woman! Stupid me actually considered it ! but i came to my senses no way am i lowering myself to such a degree for what a man that will do this to me again because this woman his with is 36 no kids so wants her family so his trapped but that his problem not mine i need to keep reminding myself his gone forever. I still get the i love yous etc need to know its all just words just word nothing behind that if i take him back i will always never trust him what is love without trust? NOTHING!


I feel for you having him in the house looking at your H knowing his hurting you and him being a good boy that i know tore me up to bits during the last affair four years ago he was a good boy for about 3 years till woman number 2 came into the picture. Just think of yourself i know hard to do just yesterday i hit rock bottom out with the kids missed him like mad tears brimming as i tried to enjoy them i couldnt even snapped at my daughter! They do not deserve that!

Just think about how you hurt and when is he going to do it all over again. I hope more people post im still confused believe me but im getting stronger i hope.

[Wishful thinking]

Hi

this was an interesting read. Kinda sums it up as to where I Am. Hope its of help.

https://bpdfamily.com/pdfs/10_beliefs.pdf