i never been to this point of heeling during my many breaks ups (15 or more) with my BPD ex. i got back and forth from mad to sad and just a touch of letting it all go.
ive been talking to someone new and trying to keep it real with her, ive told her about the mess ive been living and how i know i did my part to keep it alive. she seems to be understanding. its a great releaf to me to have a new friend... . thaks my mind away. im trying to work on not letting this new relactionship turn into me being dependent of the new person. its not a ez thing to do at this point.
i find as long as my mind is free from the past i move forward and feel ok almost better at times' when im alone for long i feel the old slipping back in... . the missing her lying to myself about how life was dreaming of the ex returning. today 19 days or so with NC with ex its a mixed bag as well. today was frist day in 15 days i couldnt txt or talk with new friend during the day as she was out of town all day. the frist part of day was good, buy noon is was feeling blue... . wondering why this all had to happen. two pm the sick feeling was back wondering how ex is doing. home by four pm sat in livimg room alone till seven or so felt very mad started old habits... . looking up BPD and bipolar disored all over again. around 8pm new friend called soo as she was back in town... . picked me up and took me away very fast again.
im sure about alot of this any input would be great. thanks everyone.
hey simply,
The days following a breakup with a pwBPD are trying ones. Do not feel abnormal; you are grieving. It is what healthy people do.
I can tell you one thing, you are WORLDS ahead of other people in how you are handling this situation. I never thought about it much, but the whole concept of a "rebound" relationship is pretty disgusting IMO. Good for you for being up front with your new interest. And good for you for recognizing the need to control your relationship with your new interest. If that does develop into something, it will be 10x better because it happened because of YOU and HER, not because of your BPDex.
Chin up brother.