Therapy... what are the odds of success with BPD?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I suggested my wife and I get individual therapy- then go back to couples after we work on our own issues.  To my surprise she is actually doing it!  I'm trying not to get my hopes up.  Our couples therapist is the one who actually suggested it might be BPD with my wife.  She has now refused to go back to our couples therapist , accused her of being irresponsible, unprofessional... .

But she did actually mention BPD (she says) to her new individual therapist.  She is going in for an appointment today with 6 handwritten  pages of all my shortcomings that need to be changed to fix our marriage... . no joke... . 6 pages!  Anyone familiar with BPD knows exactly what this writing looks like- I have pages and pages of this stuff.   So her new therapist knows BPD has been mentioned before, and now my wife comes in with 6 pages of 100% whats wrong with me and 0% personal responsiblity.  I'm hoping her therapist quickly ralizes BPD is a real possiblity here- am I being too hopeful?  and even if her new therapist thinks it's BPD what then?

[hopesky]

I suggested my wife and I get individual therapy- then go back to couples after we work on our own issues.  To my surprise she is actually doing it!  I'm trying not to get my hopes up.  Our couples therapist is the one who actually suggested it might be BPD with my wife.  She has now refused to go back to our couples therapist , accused her of being irresponsible, unprofessional... .

But she did actually mention BPD (she says) to her new individual therapist.  She is going in for an appointment today with 6 handwritten  pages of all my shortcomings that need to be changed to fix our marriage... . no joke... . 6 pages!  Anyone familiar with BPD knows exactly what this writing looks like- I have pages and pages of this stuff.   So her new therapist knows BPD has been mentioned before, and now my wife comes in with 6 pages of 100% whats wrong with me and 0% personal responsiblity.  I'm hoping her therapist quickly ralizes BPD is a real possiblity here- am I being too hopeful?  and even if her new therapist thinks it's BPD what then?

[VeryFree]

Read my story... .

I went into individual T, because that was the only way my stbBPDxw would go into couplesT.

When it was time to make an appointment, that appointment for some reason couldn't be made. A month later she attacked me and the rest is history 

[bruceli]

I suggested my wife and I get individual therapy- then go back to couples after we work on our own issues.  To my surprise she is actually doing it!  I'm trying not to get my hopes up.  Our couples therapist is the one who actually suggested it might be BPD with my wife.  She has now refused to go back to our couples therapist , accused her of being irresponsible, unprofessional... .

But she did actually mention BPD (she says) to her new individual therapist.  She is going in for an appointment today with 6 handwritten  pages of all my shortcomings that need to be changed to fix our marriage... . no joke... . 6 pages!  Anyone familiar with BPD knows exactly what this writing looks like- I have pages and pages of this stuff.   So her new therapist knows BPD has been mentioned before, and now my wife comes in with 6 pages of 100% whats wrong with me and 0% personal responsiblity.  I'm hoping her therapist quickly ralizes BPD is a real possiblity here- am I being too hopeful?  and even if her new therapist thinks it's BPD what then?

OMG... . Laughed so hard after reading this almost peed myself.  This is exactly what SPDexw did when we went to MC!  2 1/2 years she did this and after all that time when the MC finally got fed up with it all and said that it was time to start working on her... . she went to 2 more sessions, got angry and never went back.

[egribkb]

Yeah my stbxBPDw did the same thing, went into counseling with pages of notes on how I was the problem when the appt was made so she could work on "anger issues".

To answer your question... . slim to none.

It's not because therapy isn't effective, everything I've read seems to say it is very effective for pwBPD. The problem is that pwBPD don't stick to it, don't believe they have a problem, and run at the first signs of criticism. There are examples of pwBPD having very successful treatment but the motivation must come from themselves and it's a many years process that very few will do the work for.

Maybe in the future there will be a quick painless solution for all involved but it doesn't exist yet if ever.

[charred]

Once again I thought it was just me that got a long typewritten list of all my faults. 

[bruceli]

Yeah my stbxBPDw did the same thing, went into counseling with pages of notes on how I was the problem when the appt was made so she could work on "anger issues".

To answer your question... . slim to none.

It's not because therapy isn't effective, everything I've read seems to say it is very effective for pwBPD. The problem is that pwBPD don't stick to it, don't believe they have a problem, and run at the first signs of criticism. There are examples of pwBPD having very successful treatment but the motivation must come from themselves and it's a many years process that very few will do the work for.

Maybe in the future there will be a quick painless solution for all involved but it doesn't exist yet if ever.

Well put... . I would agree... .

[shamrock]

To answer your question What are the odds of recovery?

Good to excellent IF your BPDW WORKS &WORKS & Works some more.

A good T is important but not as important as (for fear of sounding like a broken record) your BPDW WORKS. It is hard, but my BPDW has done it

Good luck to you both

Did I mention it will take alot of hard work!