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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: how are we today?  (Read 342 times)
simplyasiam
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 372


« on: July 07, 2013, 11:53:41 AM »

for myself the stress is leting up

dont have that sick feeling so much

head hurting less

crying very little

starting to see it was bad for years

starting to want to live again

learning to become a normal person

learing to live alone and run house myself/ not that i wasnt doing all that before some how it seemed ez when i was taken care of her and her kids, crazy that doing it just for me seems so hard

this site is great place for answers but lets not forget about our own healing
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crystalclear
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 155


« Reply #1 on: July 07, 2013, 03:22:31 PM »

Learning each day - of the disorder and rediscovering myself together.

Knowledge is now leading to 'acceptance' and hopefully someday will give me power.

Peace to all!
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xenia

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Posts: 43


« Reply #2 on: July 07, 2013, 03:42:16 PM »

I've been in a bad place for the past few days, and I expect it to continue in the short-term (good thing I have an appointment with my therapist soon!). The good news is, it has little to do with my suspected BPD friend. I think I'm peeling back another layer of pain, and it's allowing me to see how easy it was for me to be manipulated by someone like my former friend (who--as hard as it is to accept--wasn't my friend). I'm hurting, but I'm cleansing at the same time. I'm glad to have these forums on days like this.
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simplyasiam
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 372


« Reply #3 on: July 07, 2013, 04:04:52 PM »

this forum is a great thing.

healing is hard work and when ur still wanting the ex it becomes even harder.

i have so amny ups and down, 30 day N/C  but really starting to want to hear from her but scared of what i would hear from her or about her.

i know thats just the last of the hope dying.

for now all i kknow is im going to make it and for now no one is leaving me cheating on me blaming me or what ever

i really need to start getting out more and building a new life but all my friends are married and home bodies i dont wanta full into the bar thing i did that 10 years go when split with ex wife it lead to no good and lead to this in the long run.

sucks not know where life is going or how to get in control of it

i pray God helps us all
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Sparky2Blame?

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 32



« Reply #4 on: July 07, 2013, 04:26:39 PM »

this forum is a great thing.

healing is hard work and when ur still wanting the ex it becomes even harder.

i have so amny ups and down, 30 day N/C  but really starting to want to hear from her but scared of what i would hear from her or about her.

i know thats just the last of the hope dying.

for now all i kknow is im going to make it and for now no one is leaving me cheating on me blaming me or what ever

i really need to start getting out more and building a new life but all my friends are married and home bodies i dont wanta full into the bar thing i did that 10 years go when split with ex wife it lead to no good and lead to this in the long run.

sucks not know where life is going or how to get in control of it

i pray God helps us all

I'm sort of in the same boat.  Only have a few really close friends, but at this point in our lives, I'm the only one thats not married and with kids.  So getting people out is pretty hard.  Forunately I play in a good cover band, now. And 80% of my weekends are busy.  But last time I was really feeling disconnected and wanting to get out, I started doing things listed at meetup.com.  Depending upon where you live, theres probably something happening that intersts you.  And if not, its good to get out and do stuff that doesn't interst you, just for the socialization aspect. 
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mango_flower
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 689


« Reply #5 on: July 07, 2013, 05:02:16 PM »

My brain is running riot today, wondering what she's doing with her now-fiancee, and feeling confused about how it all turned out.

I've kept busy all day but my head is still yakking on at me... . yak yak yak.

I'm doing everything right... . but he initial devastation and stress and turmoil is now replaced with a deep-seated melancholy and darkness about the world.

But hey, tomorrow is Monday and a new week... . x
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simplyasiam
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 372


« Reply #6 on: July 07, 2013, 05:11:15 PM »

hi flower. i know it hard im dealing with same thing so up and down

sunday is a hard one as it was our together just 3 of us.

keeping her out of my head becomes more work then i can do but have to keep going
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Trick1004
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 132


« Reply #7 on: July 08, 2013, 01:35:01 AM »

Feeling much better today after finding this forum. I had a bit of relapse due to the 4th of July and next couple of days where I felt like crap (we always really enjoyed the 4th together).

My ex fits BPD to a tee and it has been a huge help understanding that I was in a relationship with a BPD person. It helps knowing that I'm dealing with an unstable person and the breakup is more of reflection on her than me.
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