BPD Daughter Now Has a Daughter

[Winifred]

Our daughter now has a three-month old baby. This child may already be scarred from the chaos she's been brought into. We filed a complaint with the police and Child Protective Services when the father left with the baby. During the CPS investigation, the baby was placed with the father's mother for a week or so. This prompted a breakdown, cutting episodes, and trips to emergency wards, all of which we watched from afar, as our daughter has aligned herself with the father's extended family and tells us nothing. (These are the people who raised the sociopathic father who cracked our daughter's ribs on Mother's Day.) After the CPS investigation, the baby was returned to our daughter and the father. A public health nurse visits once a week to check on the baby, and, as the investigator told us, our daughter has taken advantage of some of the services offered to her. This is all that we know, as just about everything else is "confidential." A few weeks ago our daughter called to say that her relationship with the father was over, but that she was afraid to let him in to get his stuff. Calls to the police revealed that they had been dealing with these two all afternoon, and that our daughter had barred the door against the father and the police. We don't know if the father is still there, but given our daughter's previous patterns of behavior, it's likely that he is. More calls to CPS, but just as BPD's wear out their caretakers, our daughter is wearing out our our state's social services. The baby can't be removed from that environment for psychological trauma or potential physical trauma. So now our daughter is silent to us. She doesn't return phone calls or messages. We refuse to participate in her crazy, so all we can do is wait. It's driving me crazy.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[heronbird]

Hi,

Gosh, what a nightmare, like my situation. My BPDd just had a baby hes 6 weeks old now. I took him three weeks ago but the dad, her dh was not happy and thought I wanted the baby for keeps.

Did your daughter have a "plan B" Social services got involved when the midwife referred my dd. We had meetings they checked out the dad and planned for her to go into a mother and baby unit if she got ill. Mind you there are no beds available so stupid plan B anyway.

I just cant bear the baby to go into care. I dont think I am doing the best thing by keeping the baby, I think they are using me and dont appreciate me.

Keep us posted on how you get on.

[jellibeans]

Winifred

tough situation for sure and you must have concerns for all involved. Have you thought of maybe dropping off small gifts to the house, something she needs for the baby?... . making a meal etc... . and leaving a samll note for your dd? this might open up communications again with her.