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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: Constantly posting pictures of themselves  (Read 465 times)
popeye6031
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« on: July 29, 2013, 06:15:38 PM »

Does qnyone else's BPd partner constantly put pic of themselves on Facebook , Instagram and whatever other of self advertising they can do?

Also, constantly posting pictures of the 2 of us  together in loving embraces, kisses or whatever.  I am quite a private person and hate seeing picture plastered all over the internet but if I don't agrre to allow it, I get the silent treatment.

I also have to set my profile and cover photo to pictures of us.  My Facebook is not "my facebook".

If I do not put a like on evrry post she makes, or reply to every "I love you" comment on my FB, I am in for it.

I know it all to show the worls that she is so loved by someone and for no other reason.  It is not enough that I have to say "I love you" 50 times a day.

Funny how the more you say those words, the less they seem to mean.

Driving me nuts!
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popeye6031
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« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2013, 06:19:49 PM »

Plee excuse the spelling mistakes, fingersbtoo big for iphone.
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eternity75
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« Reply #2 on: July 30, 2013, 02:58:10 AM »

My BPDbf does the same. And yet he tells all the women on his facebook that we are just friends. Last time I broke it off he sent me a relationship request to try to smooth things over but I told him I would only accept if he makes it public and keeps it that way. At one point he changed it to private... . I knew right away and I told him I can just as easily delete it if he feels it needs to be private... . at which point he pretended it was a smitake and changed it back. FBut not before pretending to "forget" that we had the discussion in the first place.

I also have to say I love you a million times a day and like every post that he puts on my wall. But if I post I love you on his wall he ignores it and does not comment. I am lucky to get a "like". It's quite insulting actually. He once declared his love for me on his facebook wall and said I was the best woman in the world and the best thing to ever happen to him and that he was never ashamed of me. This was early in our relationship and came shortly after I told him he acts ashamed of me, hides me, and doesn't want him to meet his friends. I thought this was a sign he had changed, at least where facebook and all his woman followers was concerned. I later realized months later that he had made it visible to only 3 people including myself and the other 2 were ones he never talked to... . I'm sure they were just random people he had added to his FB so he didn't care if they saw... . but not one of his friends, male or female saw. He also calls me constantly when I am out with friends and declares his love for me... . if I call him when he is with his friends he acts cold and distant and will never say I love you... . only says goodbye or call you later at the end of the call.
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popeye6031
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« Reply #3 on: July 30, 2013, 03:29:27 AM »

Sorry to hear of you problems Eterntiy.  That would ver frustrating behaviour indeed.  I had a relationship a lot like that but before FB was invented.  After 18 months of it, I had to walk away.  It was tough but I was never happy in it.  I would advice you to do the same.  No doubt he will try to make contact but just ignore.  He ahs to learn not to mess with your emotions.

At least now, my gf is proud of me, though I kind of think it is to present a show to everyone else.
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allibaba
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« Reply #4 on: July 30, 2013, 05:28:15 AM »

Ha ha... . thought that you mind appreciate this article.

www.cbc.ca/news/technology/story/2013/06/11/tech-facebook-narcissism.html

My uBPDh isn't into social media (thank God)... .
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Validation78
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Relationship status: divorced
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« Reply #5 on: July 30, 2013, 07:26:48 AM »

Hi Popeye!

pwBPD are very concerned with the perception of others. They work very hard to appear healthy, happy and together.

Let's talk about how you respond to her demands and her behaviors that are "driving you crazy". I know you appease her despite how you feel, however that will lead to no good. She will keep raising the bar, and you'll never be able to meet all of her needs, not to mention, you will be harboring resentment for giving into her despite how you feel!

Many of us have weak boundaries and are not prepared to do what we must to uphold our values and protect our boundaries. You can do this, you are probably just a bit scared of her reaction. Ask yourself, what's worse, the reaction you may get, or to continue to let her drive you crazy by giving into her demands and requirements?

You can read more about values and boundaries in the lessons on the staying board. I think that may help!

Best Wishes,

Val78
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Vindi
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Relationship status: Living together
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« Reply #6 on: July 30, 2013, 08:59:06 AM »

mine always needs the "reassurance" with the I love yous, it got to a point that I started *not* saying I love you after every phone convo, it was like i was a robot with him and I couldn't live like that. So now I cut back on the I love yous.

As for facebook, maybe she is seeing if you "like" the pics and what not, maybe she is vying for attention and wants to get alot of likes and people of interest of the pics of you both. And she may just be proving to the world that YOU love her and may give the silent treatment if you do not LIKE every post. Talk with her calmly on how you feel and hopefully she will not have facebook rule her life & feelings.
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