BPD And Shopping.

[Willingtolearn]

My exBPDgf was always shopping.  Virtually everyday she use to have to go to the shops to buy something. Usually new cloths but in fact it could be almost anything. She seemed to just have to shop.

Anyone else notice this behaviour with their BPD partner?

[Reg]

Willingtolearn,

Same here, buying things makes them happy for a moment and gives them the feeling of being someone, due to their lack of identity and lack of self confidence.

My ex was never happy with her house, it had to be bigger, more luxurious, she wanted clothing from more exclusive brands, and she had to have another car (second hand) every year, if possible BMW.  On a certain moment at the end of our relation she actually bought one without any real purpose for it and sold it again at the same price... .

Reg

[Clearmind]

Its simply to fill a void - this is not just a BPD trait JNChell - its a trait for all folks who are unhappy with life. They need things and believe it will make them feel better. Its a temporary band aid for a much bigger issue - usually revolving around self worth.

Don't be mistaken that all the things your ex did was the result of the illness.

[papawapa]

Impulsive purchases were always an issue for my ex. In fact one of the only things she could tolerate me joking with her about was I would tell her I was going to make blinders for her because EVERY time we were in the checkout line she would grab two or three little things that are near the registers. I hated going grocery shopping with her. I would make a list and she would randomly grab things as we went through the store. We would end up with an extra bag of junk food that we didn't need and couldn't afford.

[danley]

Agreeing with what Clearmind said. I think It's to fill a void. It makes them feel good. It's an outlet. It takes their mind off of their issues. It's not a BPD thing. It happens to other people. It gives them a sense of comfort and control as well as soothe their desire for impulsivity.

My ex loved shopping. He loved it more than me. I used to joke around about it with him. Soon it may become an addiction. My ex had tons of crap in unopened boxes and a storage unit to put it all in. He used to buy tons of things for his kids that were still unopened. Shopping for people was his way to also "win" their affection. He tried to do it with me as well.