Question about reconciliation

[Depression = 72% of members]

I was wondering if anyone here had ever broken up with their SO and then got back together with them. My girlfriend of one year and I are currently on a break of sorts. While I'm left with a variety of negative emotions, I'm still open to working on our relationship with her. She told me that she wants to be single for a long while, but has kept in contact with me. She has also told me that she loves me, cares about me, and misses me like crazy. I'm wondering if this genuine or if it's a prelude to the same old stuff.

[EK3225]

I was wondering if anyone here had ever broken up with their SO and then got back together with them. My girlfriend of one year and I are currently on a break of sorts. While I'm left with a variety of negative emotions, I'm still open to working on our relationship with her. She told me that she wants to be single for a long while, but has kept in contact with me. She has also told me that she loves me, cares about me, and misses me like crazy. I'm wondering if this genuine or if it's a prelude to the same old stuff.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[emotionaholic]

Oh yes! and more than once.  Most of the time there is an amount of no contact or silence.  Once she did tell me that she wanted to be single for a long time but that only lasted a week or two.

Her telling you that she loves, cares, and misses you is most likely genuine.  PwBpd have there emotions on there shirt sleeve so when they tell you they love you they really do, and when they tell you they hate you they really do.  Their emotions can be all over the place, but they are very real and very strong.

Is this your first break up?  What initiated it?

If you plan on staying have you started reading the lessons here.  I just found out about BPD a few months ago and have found the lessons very helpful.  This may be a great time for you to take some distance and educate yourself.

[EK3225]

I can totally see my girlfriend only staying single for a little while. There's usually a lot of meaningless activity when she decides to do something, but she quickly loses interest and goes back to what she was doing in the first place. This is our first official break up, but she has threatened break ups in the past. There was one incident early in our relationship where she rushed over to collect her things and then demanded to tell her why we should stay together.

I'm a mix of emotions right now. I go back and forth between waiting her out as I suspect she will come back, feeling like it's totally over, and hope that I will get through this.

You are correct that this is a great time for me to educate myself. Not only do I want to better understand her, I want to better understand how BPD impacts relationships. I also want to learn self-care techniques so that I know how to properly take care of myself should we get back together.

[EK3225]

Another question I have is do those with BPD keep coming around again in a cycle after saying they're breaking it off? I do want to work on things with her, but I'm a little anxious about her coming back before I've worked on me. I want to be sure I have my life back in order and that I'm strong enough to deal with the situation. I have never had to deal with this much senseless drama in my life!