Decided to go because I have to...

[Selattyn]

I've posted extensive material about why I have to leave my uBPD wife in the first time section.The chaos, absent boundaries, shocks, traumas, lack of consequences, rages, violence and just dumbfounding incidents have taken there toll. is there any basic advice to help me through the separation and to make it as healthy for me as possible. I stress that because I realise I need to put my emotional needs first for the first time in two years I can no longer allow my own reasonable emotional Heath be influenced by someone with a serious and diagnosable mental illness.

Cheers Selattyn

[Surnia]

Selattyn

So sorry to hear about your breakup 

and after reading through your entry post I feel also a certain relief, that you found the courage to leave, that you could take responsibility for your own health and wellbeing!

What can help you: Reaching out to very good friends, making things you didn't for a while, perhaps little changes in your apartment... . little steps, being nice to yourself.

Perhaps you may later take a look at the Lessons here  on the right side---->

Keep posting here, this helps too.

[heartandwhole]

Selattyn,

I know how you've been struggling with this decision, I know that it very hard, and it's a brave thing to do.  I'm sorry that you feel that things can't get better.

Keep learning as much as you can and writing.  We're here for you.  Surnia mentioned the lessons on the right ----> I have to say that they were very, very helpful for me when I started the detachment process.

Hang in there, you are not alone. 

heartandwhole