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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: triggers/recycling  (Read 671 times)
shadowman

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 13


« on: August 10, 2013, 03:26:32 PM »

I was wondering.  If our exes can remember all the drama aned wreckage from our relationships, and in essence we become their trigger, how come so many recycle?
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Moonie75
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 867



« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2013, 03:32:45 PM »

You'll burst yer brain pondering that stuff!

How about pondering why you're not going to take the next dance with her?

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papawapa
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 236


« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2013, 07:04:12 PM »

It happens because of splitting. When there is a break up we are painted black. Over time the anger wears off and they start to remember the good times more and more. They want the idealization back, paint us white again and then will recycle. That's my take on it.
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