19 days n/c stronger every day

[Depression = 72% of members]

ive made it 19 days to this point shes contacted 3 time this month. ive give only one reply saying it not right for us to talk as we are both seeing new ppl, that wa a week ago. her vmail this morning was same old all about her needs... .just calling to check up on you see how things are going if you dont want me to call anymore ill stop im just having a hrad time now myself anyways good by.


hahahaha same message as last time wanting to make sure im hanging around wants a pat on back so she can kick me in the face, been there done that for 6 years.

to the ppl here hurting and missing the ex hang in there you will get better the ex will/may neveri know that dont help now but you will see the truth

[simplyasiam]

ive made it 19 days to this point shes contacted 3 time this month. ive give only one reply saying it not right for us to talk as we are both seeing new ppl, that wa a week ago. her vmail this morning was same old all about her needs... .just calling to check up on you see how things are going if you dont want me to call anymore ill stop im just having a hrad time now myself anyways good by.


hahahaha same message as last time wanting to make sure im hanging around wants a pat on back so she can kick me in the face, been there done that for 6 years.

to the ppl here hurting and missing the ex hang in there you will get better the ex will/may neveri know that dont help now but you will see the truth

[simplyasiam]

19 days and 3 messages all say the same ling for the same for the most part. day she was cring when she left the vmail.

ive not replied and will not, but do wonder if im doing the right thing for me in the long run... .missing my chance to have what i wanted.

wonder how long she will keep reaching out to me

her crying today dose pull at my heart as i know its time for her depression to really start setting in and know how bad she her during that time.

maybe its just nomarl to feel that way?

[guardianxiii]

I think most of us face doubt at some point in the journey. I'm not familiar with your situation, but remember there was a reason things didn't work. It's easy to remember the good times and feel like you're missing an opportunity when someone is sobbing and claiming desperately that they will change. But it is all a tool, a tactic, a method of reigning you back in and controlling you. The apologies are easily forgotten, and the mirage doesn't last. You have no obligation to ride in as her white knight to save her.

Take care of yourself 

[Phoenix.Rising]

  simplyasiam,

I remember welcoming you to bpdfamily.com.  I suggest you read over your posts since you've been here.  They might give you some strength in that they might allow you to see the pain and the patterns that tend to go along with making contact with your ex.  You mentioned that you've had many recycles.  I had several myself.  The way I see it is just more of the same, except worse.

Think about the anxiety that comes along with contact.  You are showing tremendous strength by not making contact.  You do not owe her anything, and you cannot save her.  She can only save herself.  She must learn to soothe herself.

Save yourself, simplyasiam. 

[Surnia]

  simplyasIam

good you can handle it better now. 

What do you think is helping you with detachment?

[simplyasiam]

hello and thank you all for the support ive got here its been a great help.

rising your so right about the anxiety she coused me in the r/s in the 6 months it been ove iv lost 80lbs anxiety is almost not apart of my life my blood presure is down over 30 point on both top and bottom numbers. i suffered from heart burn that stop me from working at time during the r/s thats gone as well.

surnia... .many things are helping detach the bigest is my faith in GOD the next one may seem crazy but its true, i was contacted by a women the is in treatment for BPD, she came along way in taking charge of her life. she reach out to me looking for a way to help her family understand shes ill and not just a jerk. we have got to know eachother well and she helped me to see the truth in all this. meeting her was a blessing. i also do what i can to help her understand and see how her changes happen so she can head them off. other thing that have are the ppl here the lessions her plain old time metting a new women that im building a new r/s with in a heathly way my family and ive stoped lying to myself about how i was treated.

day 20 of n/c is going well my new friend and her child are coming over for dinner... .such a blessing

[Phoenix.Rising]

Keep your eyes open with this new woman.

[simplyasiam]

my eyes are very open with everyone i meet these days. its nothing the start of the BPD r/s was. i feel good about that. im not letting pain from the past blind me today.

the new girl is just a normal women shes strong makes it on her own. i like hanging out with dont having feeling for her yet(i think thats a good thing) i think that feeling could grow with her.

this normal thing is a big change wow i never knew how deep i was in

[Emelie Emelie]

19 days is great!  Good for you.  It's been almost three months and we haven't made it two weeks.  At least I've stop initiating it.  I do respond to him though.  Can't not.  Miss him.  :'(

[simplyasiam]

hello emelie. i know its hard but it can be done. i dont know sorry of your r/s. im six months into this last break up, i still miss my friend as well. hurts like hell at times. maybe your r/s cant be saved but be carful make sure he is will to get help and stick with it and that you can deal with a life time of ups and downs. i think mine had just run its corse was time to be over. the recycles had beat me down. i lost myself in everyway. still it breaks my heart when she calls crying. makes me feel like a jerk for not helping when i could but i know i would get pulled in only to be droped again.

im dating someone new so far she seems to be a good person im lucky to have met her. this normal thing is so new to me cant stop thinking about it

[Emelie Emelie]

Happy for you that you're involved with someone new!  That's nice.  I can't go back to my RS.  For the reasons all of us can't go back.  It's just tough sometimes... .loving someone you can't be with.

[simplyasiam]

yes it is, but we all know we see love in a diffrent way anyhow. it get better and keep in mind the long we hang on the longer it lifes on