18 year old recent suicide attempt

[Parents! Get help here!]

Hello,

I have an 18 year old son who just attempted suicide by overdosing. He has had many years of mental health issues, legal issues, suicide ideation and just recently they are thinking he has BPD although too early to diagnose. He spent 6 months in residential treatment and did well but once out on his own right back to old behaviors. He is refusing therapy. After the doctor told me he thought my son might be BPD he suggested the eggshell book and my son is CLASSIC. We have years of this BPD non BPD relationship and I have to learn how to stop it. He doesn't live with me anymore but keeps me within striking distance when things aren't going right. I am his target. Too many details to go into but probably most of you can picture my world.   

[MaryJK]

Hello,

I have an 18 year old son who just attempted suicide by overdosing. He has had many years of mental health issues, legal issues, suicide ideation and just recently they are thinking he has BPD although too early to diagnose. He spent 6 months in residential treatment and did well but once out on his own right back to old behaviors. He is refusing therapy. After the doctor told me he thought my son might be BPD he suggested the eggshell book and my son is CLASSIC. We have years of this BPD non BPD relationship and I have to learn how to stop it. He doesn't live with me anymore but keeps me within striking distance when things aren't going right. I am his target. Too many details to go into but probably most of you can picture my world.   

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Suzn]

Hello MaryJK   

I'm so sorry to hear about your son's recent suicide attempt, what a scary situation for you.    Bpd is a confusing and serious mental disorder and can be painful for all involved. You have come to the right place for support Mary, we have many members whom are parents with adult children with BPD.

A parent's greatest wish is for their child, whatever their age, to be healthy and happy. When a child suffers from BPD, often not only is the child unhappy and unhealthy, but so is everyone who loves them. This mental illness severely affects everyone, creating drama and heartbreak, while also piling on the guilt and anxiety. Most parents search desperately for answers, and try all the gimmicks that popular culture tells us should work - only to face even more severe rages and acting out behavior.

There are answers though, and we are here to offer you the support and encouragement to help you reach those goals. There are things that can be done to stop making things worse and begin to make them better. A great place to start is with this set of resources:

What can a parent do?

How are you coping? Have you considered a therapist for support with what you've been up against? Taking care of you is equally important.

[mary93]

Hi MaryJK. I am going through the exact same situation as you, suicide attempt 2 weeks ago (overdosing), BPD diagnosed by 3 psychiatrists from 3 hospitals, so it is definitely BPD. For me its my 20 year old daughter. No prior mental health issues or legal, but everything came on all at once suddenly (but when taking a step back I realize she has had this for many many years). She has alienated me, and also like you, I am her target (as so many mothers are I hear?) She is also refusing BPD treatment (is going to the crisis center for the suicide attempt, but nothing else) Hang in there, we can all mutually support each other here as we all are dealing with it in one way or another. Try & find time to take care of yourself in all this (I know easier said than done, but if we try a bit each day perhaps one day we will get it)

[mary93]

MaryJK I also read the eggshell book, I loved it and it did help me alot to get through some very lonely/scary/sad nights. Its a great book