Mother of Daughter with BPD

[janelyb]

I am a 64 year old.  My daughter was just formally diagnosed with BPD.  She is 38 years old and has seen psychiatrist and counselors for pretty much all of her life.  After a suicide attempt 2 months ago, a psych consult in the ER finally told us she had BPD.  When I researched it, it was clear that my daughter suffers from this horrible disorder.  Mental Health resources in Washington State are horrible.  After the second suicide attempt in two months, after calling 50 psychiatrists and practically crying for help, I finally found someone who would treat her.  She is on a waiting list for Dialectic Behavioral Therapy and has to wait until January.  I am starting to despair that she won't make it to January.

I am much better at interacting in person than on line, but I can't find a support group around here.  This seems like a good alternative.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[pessim-optimist]

Hello janelyb,



I want to welcome you here, and also, I want to say that I am sorry this is happening... . 

Worrying for the life of a child is one of the worst stresses. This place is definitely a great resource to find support for yourself as you are trying to help your daughter... .There are lots of articles, book reviews, workshops etc. that are very helpful.

There are a couple of workshops, that might help you in the meantime, as you wait till January. Let's hope it won't be needed, but if it is, it's better to be prepared:

Depression and Suicidal Ideation

TOOLS: Dealing with threats of Suicide and Suicide Attempts

Are you doing this alone, or do you have a husband to lean on? How about friends?

[Mara2]

Hello janelyb,

I am also from WA- the sunny side.  My husband is diagnosed with BPD and PTSD and my 12yo daughter is showing signs of BPD.  I have a great bunch of friends who help me through a lot, but they do not really understand the nature of the beast.  My H has been to countless counselors over the years until he was finally diagnosed and I had a huge AHA moment.  Since then I have been getting most of my support and advice from this website. 

The lessons really do help- I encourage you to work your way through them. 

There is nothing worse than watching your child self destruct.  I am so sorry you are going through this right now.  We are here for you and will help as much as we can.   

[modafinilguy]

Dialectic Behavioral Therapy is the current GOLD standard of treatment. Do everything you can, reward even bribe her to go and give it a shot! It will take a while, but it can really help many people with BPD.

Besides that, tolerance and love from you (but protect your own safety/well being), that's the best you can give.