Daughter mid 20s living on her own diagnosed with BPD will not seek help

[Marilyn]

How do I convince my 26 year old daughter to go for BPD therapy? She was accurately diagnosed a year ago. Had 10-12 private sessions but would not go to group therapy. Seemed better for awhile and recently threatened suicide ( this is the 4th time in 3 years).  Denies she was going to carry it out when she was taken to hospital against her will by therapist. Now she doesn't trust any therapist. Says if she tells truth they will put her in hospital. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[crazedncrazymom]

Hi Marilyn,



I'm so sorry you're going through this.  Suicidal ideation is one of the hardest and scariest parts about BPD.  I would say the therapist and the social worker evaluated her and determined she was a threat to herself at the moment.  Better safe than sorry.  We have a lot of parents who are in the same situation.  It's just darned near impossible to get someone to seek help.  I can understand why your dd would have trouble trusting another therapist after being hospitalized.  Such a tough situation to be in. 

It's good that she has a diagnosis so that her treatment can be targeted for BPD.  Have her past therapists understood BPD and specifically treated BPD symptoms?  I can attest to the fact that all therapists are not equal.  She definitely needs one who will focus on validation and helping your daughter deal with the shame and guilt that causes the suicidal feelings.  What other symptoms are you seeing?  Is your daughter married or have children?  What kind of support do you have for yourself?  Please be sure to take care of yourself.  It must be so heartbreaking to watch your dd go through all this.

-crazed

[Rapt Reader]

Hi, Marilyn & I'd like to join crazedncrazymom in welcoming you to this site. She's right: suicidal ideation is one of the most frightening behaviors symptomatic of BPD; my own adult son (36) ended up in a Dual Diagnosis Center after suicidal ideations in the end of February of this year. It hurts us and scares us, and really is a dark cloud coloring our days and nights for a long time.

I do want you to know that my son is now getting treated for the BPD and all other diagnoses (ADD, Depression, Anxiety, Suicidal Ideations and Substance Abuse), and is now clean and sober for 9 months this Saturday (yaaaay!) and doing really well. I'm telling you this because I want you to know there is hope for her... .When she gets to the point where she knows she needs help and is willing to get it, she can really turn herself around.

In the meantime, I found a link that might help you help her: Helping a loved one with BPD seek treatment. Also, have you had the time to check the information on this site? To the right-hand side of this page are Tools to communicate with her better and take care of yourself, and Lessons to educate yourself and help you to start yourself--and her!--on the road to recovery. These are the things that helped me help my son, and I highly recommend them.

Please tell us more of your story, and ask your questions... .We are here for you and really want to help