Just wondering difference between No Contact and Silent Treatment

[larmieq]

What is the difference between No Contact and the Silent treatment?

[losthero]

To me silent treatment is something you do to another person as punishment.  No contact you are not trying to punish the other person, just trying to preserve your own sanity. 

[larmieq]

Thanks Losthero, I take it to mean as  you described too.  But the the BPD person, it must look like the silent treatment as if I am punishing her.  However, it is very hard to say anything to her as she does not take in info in a rational way.  Any extra info I give her comes back to bite me at a later date, one more thing I am supposed to apologize for when she goes off in a rage.

[losthero]

Yes trying to explain my actions to my mother is futile too.  She doesnt want to hear it. 

[Deb]

My dBPD sister used to give me the silent treatment when she was angry with me. The last time she did this, I went NC with her but I am not angry with her. I am just protecting myself. She was punishing me for her perception that I was bad.

[BlueCat]

Yeah, unfortunately from the outside they both look the same. The difference is in your motivation.

If you are not talking to someone because you want to hurt them then that's the silent treatment.

If you are not talking to someone because talking to them hurts *you* and you want to stop being hurt, that's NC.

It sounds all new agey, but the difference is within you.

[chickadee]

I agree, NC is not about punishment.  However, that is probably how a person with BPD would view it, as punishment.  It's not really about them though, it is about protecting ourselves from their drama.  NC is not about holding a grudge about the past either.  It's nothing to do with the past, it's all about protecting ourselves in the present and in the future.