2 months post breakup at this point. Days he seemingly wants to get back together, days he hates me, days he seems to not care less either way, days he misses me, days he thinks I'm wonderful, days he thinks everything I do is vindictive (which is never is), it's exhausting. Some weeks we have communicated every day, some weeks we have no communication at all.
Last night I ended up at his apartment for the first time since the breakup... .we all know what happened there. He was more affectionate than he was for most of our relationship. (Kissing my nose, holding my hand). It almost seems like now that I am no longer a threat because we're not dating, he is free to be affectionate as it is not "dangerous" the way it would be if we were dating... .
I'm leaving the state in less than two months. He is also leaving the state, for another state. (Almost seemed in retaliation to my announcement of leaving, but I'm happy for him if that's what will make me happy.)
I'm just torn because as much as I know we need to be apart, and this is an unhealthy union, there is a part of me that feels so heartbroken at the thought of leaving him behind. It's so hard to accept that there is just something inherently wrong with him and that all the wishing in the world won't fix it. I'm having a hard time completely blocking him out of my life. Not sure what to do... .
Stay focused.
You say 2 months. I say good luck!
You won't get any pleasure out of me telling; "awww, everything will be alright". Maybe, eventually. All I can ask from you is to put yourself on Nr 1 position. What do you want?
