Will she want a jury trial?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Some of you have heard my story. My wife stabbed me a couple months ago in the hand.  This is the second time she has hurt me with a knife.  I have seen nothing on the posts yet about "cutters". My wife has cut scars up and down her arms and legs.

For those of you who did not hear my story... .I am an alaskan fisherman/commercial diver.  I go underwater and collect sea cucumbers for money.  It pays well.  When I go on a trip it usually takes about 3 days for me to get back.  On one of the days I came back I got home and all seemed ok.  I had to go talk to my neighbor (also my dive partner) for a minute, and told my wife that.  Well when I went to talk to my neighbor, I stayed for about an hour, had a beer with him, and discussed some issues we had on the trip.  When I went home, my wife was livid that I took and greeted me with a open handed punch in the face. My wife used to fish, and she is pretty tough so it hurt.  I became enraged.  I have NEVER hit my wife before.  I began yelling at her "what did you do that for!" She sat on the couch and layed her legs across it, leaving me a small area where I sat down.  I Kind of messed with her, like tapping the back of her head, and i yelled "how would you like it if I punched you in the face!"  I made a motion like I was going to hit her but it was a fake swing, and when I did this she pulled a utility knife out from under her blanket, she was hiding it, and stabbed me in the hand.  Hard.  She hit right under my thumb. Blood started squirting out of my hand and I jumped up in a panic.  I knew it was really bad.  I started looking for the phone, and could not find it, so I ran back to the neighbors house.  He called the police, told them I had been stabbed, and the police and ambulance showed up.  The police have been to our house many times, and it was because of her violence toward me every single time. I was put in an ambulance and watched the police go towards my house. 

My wife got charged with 2nd degree assault, a class B felony in Alaska.  This was not her first offense either.  Last thanksgiving nearly the exact same thing had happened.  Almost exactly the same spot on my hand.  But this time one of my tendons got cut in half.  I had to go to have surgery for it in Seattle, as they could not work on it here.  The surgery cost $11,000.00.  The district attorney, after Grand jury the next day, told me that it could have been worse and she could have killed me.  It is the same D.A. that prosecuted her last year.  My question is, do you think she will take this to trial?  And what kind of chance does she have of getting away without prison time?  She is in prison now, trial is set for February 16th.   

[akloner]

Some of you have heard my story. My wife stabbed me a couple months ago in the hand.  This is the second time she has hurt me with a knife.  I have seen nothing on the posts yet about "cutters". My wife has cut scars up and down her arms and legs.

For those of you who did not hear my story... .I am an alaskan fisherman/commercial diver.  I go underwater and collect sea cucumbers for money.  It pays well.  When I go on a trip it usually takes about 3 days for me to get back.  On one of the days I came back I got home and all seemed ok.  I had to go talk to my neighbor (also my dive partner) for a minute, and told my wife that.  Well when I went to talk to my neighbor, I stayed for about an hour, had a beer with him, and discussed some issues we had on the trip.  When I went home, my wife was livid that I took and greeted me with a open handed punch in the face. My wife used to fish, and she is pretty tough so it hurt.  I became enraged.  I have NEVER hit my wife before.  I began yelling at her "what did you do that for!" She sat on the couch and layed her legs across it, leaving me a small area where I sat down.  I Kind of messed with her, like tapping the back of her head, and i yelled "how would you like it if I punched you in the face!"  I made a motion like I was going to hit her but it was a fake swing, and when I did this she pulled a utility knife out from under her blanket, she was hiding it, and stabbed me in the hand.  Hard.  She hit right under my thumb. Blood started squirting out of my hand and I jumped up in a panic.  I knew it was really bad.  I started looking for the phone, and could not find it, so I ran back to the neighbors house.  He called the police, told them I had been stabbed, and the police and ambulance showed up.  The police have been to our house many times, and it was because of her violence toward me every single time. I was put in an ambulance and watched the police go towards my house. 

My wife got charged with 2nd degree assault, a class B felony in Alaska.  This was not her first offense either.  Last thanksgiving nearly the exact same thing had happened.  Almost exactly the same spot on my hand.  But this time one of my tendons got cut in half.  I had to go to have surgery for it in Seattle, as they could not work on it here.  The surgery cost $11,000.00.  The district attorney, after Grand jury the next day, told me that it could have been worse and she could have killed me.  It is the same D.A. that prosecuted her last year.  My question is, do you think she will take this to trial?  And what kind of chance does she have of getting away without prison time?  She is in prison now, trial is set for February 16th.   

[livednlearned]

akloner,

In some states, the police are not obligated to drop charges even if you and your ex said to (and I wouldn't advise dropping the charges). I think Alaska might be a state where the DA's office gets to decide, and it sounds like this DA is set to prosecute her.

One thing you might want to consider is how you describe this story, akloner. If someone asks you did you hit her, the answer is No. Period.

In your mind, you might feel guilty that you provoked her by raising your fist, but that's not the answer to the question. The question is whether you hit her, the answer is no. Careful how you talk about this to anyone, including the DA until you get a lawyer to help you understand how the system works. There is a chance she is going to name you as an aggressor, in which case you want to understand exactly how court works so you aren't putting yourself at risk.

Does that make sense?

[ForeverDad]

I concur.  Better to be silent rather than talk yourself into an awkward corner or make it seem that you're the real problem.

My lawyer once told me his first job as lawyer was to sit on his clients so they couldn't talk without his permission and approval.  And when he did let them talk he made them limit answers to Yes/No as much as possible.  It's so easy to sabotage yourself.  For example, imagine saying in court, "Yes, but she... ."  All that matters is the "Yes", her lawyer won't care to listen to the clarification or explanation.

Courts are not ruled by common sense nor fairness, they're guided by arcane laws, rules, procedures and case law that befuddle most normal people.  You need a guide, someone to advise you along that way.  Get some legal consultations, hiring a lawyer may be necessary.

[akloner]

Excellent advice from both of you.  Thank you!

I cannot afford a private lawyer.  I am in massive debt.  I am probably going to get evicted.  I will probably be getting victim compensation from the state, but Im afraid it will just be too late.  My mailbox is full of bills.  I dont even check it anymore.  Funny thing is I had the best year at my regular non-fishing job ever. (I work as a shipping clerk/accountant most of the time) It seems like I blame her for everything but she spent all of our money on her heroin habit.  I am considering bankruptcy.  Winters are very hard to make it through here.  No one is fishes, and fishing is what drives our community.  I have NEVER hit her though, and I would never say I did, because I haven't.  She told the police I did, as well as the D.A., but they didn't believe her.

Thank you so much for your feedback! It is so nice to be able to talk about this and get advice from people that have gone through it before.  Thank you.

[Waddams]

I have NEVER hit her though, and I would never say I did, because I haven't.  She told the police I did, as well as the D.A., but they didn't believe her.

That's due to evidence.  Believe me, the DV justice in this country is biased to be advantage = women (basing that on my own personal experiences).  I think you're going to find that at all steps through the process of adjudicating this case that just about everyone will come to the same conclusions as the DA and the police.

As for your financial problems, sometimes you just gotta step back, stop worrying about taking care of all current obligations and figure out how to make ends meet in the here and now.  I've done it myself.  Short sold a home, let my credit go to complete $h!t, etc.  However, now I'm on more solid financial ground than I've been at any point since my marriage ended.  It's okay to put out the life boat and jump from the sinking ship when you just can't plug the leaks and stay afloat anymore.