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Author Topic: My attempt at validation  (Read 523 times)
sadeyes
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« on: December 09, 2013, 09:41:00 AM »

So I know texting is terrible for many, but for me it seems to be a good way to communicate. It seems that he is less hurtful in his texts than when we are actually talking. I have been trying to use it some, and the only downside seems to be he gets mad if I don't reply fast enough.

So, how did I do. Validation and not being codependant.

He is in training for a new job and finding.it very difficult.

Him: I am starting to get weird vibes in here today.

Me: weird vibes how?

Him: like I'm a burden

Me: burden to who?

Him: class

Me: That must feel terrible. Did someone say something, or is it just something you're feeling?

Him: no their body language

Me: try not to let others get you down

Him: its everybody, (name)

Me: You have 1 job to do there, and I know it is extra hard when you're not feeling accepted. Try to focus on what you gotta do.

Him: I don't feel equal

Me: That must feel pretty cra... ppy

Him: Yes, but who cares

me: I do

Him: Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)

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briefcase
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Married 18 years, together 20 years, still living together
Posts: 2150



« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2013, 12:13:19 PM »

Very good use of validation!  You asked some validating questions, acknoweldged you understood what he was feeling, and it seemed to end well.   Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

To be hyper technical, the line about "try not to let others get you down" is not really validation, but it seemed to fit in fine with the context of the conversation, and you switched right back to validation afterwards.

Overall, great job.  Thanks for posting. 
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sadeyes
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« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2013, 04:38:17 PM »

Yeah!  It seems with him the lack of emotion that texting allows seems to be a positive.
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