Happiness and Forgiveness

[PhoenixRising15]

I am happy for my ex.  She seems to be happy with others that are not me, and I'm happy for her if that's the case(hopefully).

And I don't mean just "happy she's on to a new victim".  I refuse to see it that way. 

If she is happy, then I am truly happy for her.  I loved her once, and I still love her.

We broke up, because we've both got some unresolved issues.  Hers encroached heavily on my boundaries, so it ended.

But I'm tired of being sad for her.  Feeling bad for her and all her troubles.  Feeling sad for my loss and all my troubles.

I choose to be happy today, because that's who I am.  I am a person who wishes goodness and blessings on all people I encounter.

I'll never understand what went on in her mind.  I doubt it was very good.  She had a really rough life.

I forgive myself for taking on her troubles.  It's the type of person I learned to be early on.  To help others through their struggles at my own expense.

I truly honestly in this moment surrender to feelings of love, forgiveness, and wishes of happiness for her.

Bitterness, anger, and resentment only remind me of the things I allowed to happen.

I love her, and I love myself. 

I choose to forgive and be happy.

I choose love.

[Mase11]

Good for you. It feels good to see a post like yours. You can't control the things that have happened. We truly don't get it, but the relationship is unhealthy for us.

I'm striving for this but of course she has to be happy before I can get there.

[MammaMia]

Questioning

What an AWESOME post!  I wish more people had your attitude.  It is the right one.

No one can move on until they let go.  To let go takes forgiveness, compassion and self-respect which results in happiness.  Too many linger in a world of anger and victimization.  They choose to make themselves miserable.  So sad.

Thank you so much for your words of wisdom.  A lesson we all should learn.

[Pearl55]

Such an execellent post. I think I've been forgiven my husband but I'm not able to forgive myself. I don't know why I still feel so sorry for him even though he destroyed me to bits.

[santa]

I had a similar thought today.

If it is me that makes her crazy, then I guess she's better off... .because no one should act the way she acts with me.

If this can make her not act like that, then it's good.

[TakingWingAtLast]

You have arrived at a greater wisdom, QuestioningFaith.  That is indeed the goal for all of us.  Well said!  I hope that others here will read your post with hope that they too can reach the light at the end of the tunnel. 

Sometimes, it's just awesome to see what exactly the end of the tunnel looks like!   

D

[Perfidy]

I'm happy. I don't care about her. I forgive myself. I have nothing for her. Of the six billion people on this chunk of rock  and ice she is just another stranger and I'm ok with that. Love? Nope. What I thought was love wasn't. I was wrong. I don't know what it was but it wasn't love. Two crazy people doing a crazy dance. She did something's that were unforgivable. At least by me. I won't carry resentment. I won't be bitter. I am much happier now. She isn't my friend or my enemy. She is not in my life period. That is how it will remain. I will live out my life in peace knowing she won't be part of it. Is she happy? I don't care. Will she do better with the next guy? Don't know don't care. Does she think about me? Don't care. I have no reason to care. It's over. I have the business of my own life to take care of.

I know this goes against many beliefs. I respect everyone's beliefs here. While some may look for the warm fuzzy feeling of self righteousness, I look at it as a matter of life and death for me. She was trying to get me to kill myself. She is a monster and she is walking among us. After we split up she tried to befriend me then played a sick and sadistic game with me. She tried to use everything and everyone she could to inflict as much emotional pain on me as possible. P E R F I D Y... .

[snappafcw]

These are my beliefs I think we can all let go and love from a distance. Great post!

[PhoenixRising15]

Perfidy,

I don't know you or your situation.  I'm sad for your pain.  I hope you find the solace and peace you deserve.

-QF

[Learning_curve74]

I truly honestly in this moment surrender to feelings of love, forgiveness, and wishes of happiness for her.

Bitterness, anger, and resentment only remind me of the things I allowed to happen.

I love her, and I love myself. 

I choose to forgive and be happy.

I choose love.

I'm happy for you, QF. Your post is very moving. Thank you so much for sharing with us. 

[Learning_curve74]

I'm happy. I don't care about her. I forgive myself. I have nothing for her. Of the six billion people on this chunk of rock and ice she is just another stranger and I'm ok with that.

It's over. I have the business of my own life to take care of.

Perfidy, I am happy for you too. To reach this level of detachment, you've made a big stride towards healing. Thank you for sharing with us. 

[necchi]

Perfidy, stand by your thoughts if you believe in them, i to want to reach these same believe. Thank!

[heartandwhole]

QF, your post is inspiring, thank you.