he posted our song

[RecycledNoMore]

We had a song we both loved

Fat freddys drop- seconds

We found it on a mixed cd 1 day, never knew the actual name, we looked for it for quite a while because the cd got damaged.We never found it and it faded away.I looked at his fb page today, Ive had him blocked for months, he found that song and posted it, and also a picture of him and his sister, standing outside my house, the day of my fathers funeral

It took me back

Im so sad, I did it to myself, now ill have to wait 48 hours to block him again

I got a txt last night it said " I am happy now"

I didnt recognise the number but I knew it was him, I txt back and said " happy people dont text their exes to say how happy they are", a few hours later the same number txt n said " o sorry you are not my boyfriend"

This was my trigger, I failed at the first hurdle

Im ok, just so many emotions, Im not doing as well as I thought, Im not devasted just dissapointed in myself.

O well back on the horse.

[necchi]

Ya there you go! Ours was Can i hold you tonight by TracyChapman.

she did/does, now it don't matter because sooner than later i will have forgotten about her!

Why do we do that ? I've been there, What are your thoughts about this ?

[RecycledNoMore]

Ya there you go! Ours was Can i hold you tonight by TracyChapman.

she did/does, now it don't matter because sooner than later i will have forgotten about her!

Why do we do that ? I've been there, What are your thoughts about this ?

The addiction to the pwBPD id say,god I hop this dosent last, im so sick of it, but its up to me in the end, just got to keep on keepn on, rah rah rah me im even sick of myself some days.

[just_think]

Ya there you go! Ours was Can i hold you tonight by TracyChapman.

she did/does, now it don't matter because sooner than later i will have forgotten about her!

Why do we do that ? I've been there, What are your thoughts about this ?

The addiction to the pwBPD id say,god I hop this dosent last, im so sick of it, but its up to me in the end, just got to keep on keepn on, rah rah rah me im even sick of myself some days.

It doesn't last. You will grow. You will change. You will thrive.

Also, let's not forget that we're human. Even without BPD in the mix, I think of nonBPD exes and can get sad if a certain song comes on or if a certain memory is triggered. It's ok to feel a certain way. With BPD, obviously things are more complex and the goal is to move to detachment, not avoidance. One day I can guarantee that that song will not even register a memory with him.

Maybe it's a good time to find new music to seek out - something you might not listen to normally :D

[RecycledNoMore]

It doesn't last. You will grow. You will change. You will thrive.

Also, let's not forget that we're human. Even without BPD in the mix, I think of nonBPD exes and can get sad if a certain song comes on or if a certain memory is triggered. It's ok to feel a certain way. With BPD, obviously things are more complex and the goal is to move to detachment, not avoidance. One day I can guarantee that that song will not even register a memory with him.

Maybe it's a good time to find new music to seek out - something you might not listen to normally :D[/quote]
Thank you, Im just so over feeling and thinking at the moment, I know what I should be doing and most well some of the time I suceed, but sometimes I feel as if im just treading water, does that make sense? I feel ok, then im mad, then I feel like a failure,I knew I shouldnt have looked at exs page, I knew it would hurt- and yet I still did, sometimes I think im looking for something to make me angry, because being angry is easier than admitting I still care, even after all the madness, are you recovered? How long did it take you to be ok?

[necchi]

Time is relative has would say my friend Albert

Everyone heals at a different pace, it depends on a lot of factors. Not sabotaging our recovery is something to keep in mind.

Making it about you is the main key the focus is on you.

soon the overwhelming though and piercing feelings will fade were you will be able to let them go and change the moment.

Stay in the present as much as possible.

[just_think]

Thank you, Im just so over feeling and thinking at the moment, I know what I should be doing and most well some of the time I suceed, but sometimes I feel as if im just treading water, does that make sense? I feel ok, then im mad, then I feel like a failure,I knew I shouldnt have looked at exs page, I knew it would hurt- and yet I still did, sometimes I think im looking for something to make me angry, because being angry is easier than admitting I still care, even after all the madness, are you recovered? How long did it take you to be ok?

I was extremely guilty of doing the facebook thing. I can definitely relate to wanting to feel something and looking, not to mention sheer curiosity. I do not do it anymore and don't have the slightest desire to.

As for recovery, I can say I am totally 100% over the BPD ex.  If I saw her in the street, I wouldn't bat an eye.  I might even say a polite hello (assuming i recognized her) and it would be forgotten about by the end of the day. Realistically speaking it took about 1-1.5 years after a short 6 month relationship. But that was prolonged because I did things like check the facebook page.  It's very important to not feel guilty or shame for doing it but understand you are hurting yourself by doing it. Try to break it down and ask yourself: what's the longest you've gone without checking it? Don't you want to know what it feels like to not want to check it? To remember what it was like before? Try going 1 day without checking.  Then 2. Then 3.  If you look at it at any point, start over and learn from what you felt when you gave in. You will be better prepared the next time and it will get easier the more you learn about yourself. Ask yourself, "Will I feel this way in three hours?  Three days? 30 days? 3 months?"

Personal inventory wise, I don't think I sorted out all my problems because my last relationship was with someone who was very likely NPD... .high functioning but none the less. It's been a learning process and I'm still growing. The good news is that I saw it early, waited to get really invested and got out the second I realized it was as bad as I thought it was. I'm back to thriving after that one and it took much less time and she was way more of a "catch" than the BPD ex (good job, no substance abuse, drop dead gorgeous, lots of shared interests)

[RecycledNoMore]

Thank you so very much

Im back on the horse, blocked the ex again after checking it ,20 plus times, no problem, I had him blocked for months previously, knew I could do it again, for me.

I did it for me.

Thanks for the hope... .