Farewell

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Hi All,

   I just wanted to take the opportunity to say goodbye.

It is not easy, as I have really come to regard all of you as trusted friends on this journey through BPD (my nightmare and hell).

I am working with a new therapist and have been instructed to stay off the boards/eliminate all contact with my ex-including being in the same environment/social circle and to not read self-help books.

This is intensive therapy and I am fully committed to it for the next year. It is ridiculously expensive but I was going to have surgery last year (weight loss) for the same cost.

I want to get better and get my life on track. This is my gift to myself.

What I have learned: I have BPD traits. My mother was a borderline. I push pulled my ex as much as she did me... .

She never loved me, and I was looking for approval from someone who would never be able to give it to me. She is like a wounded bird I caged because I wanted to keep her. I never thought she would leave... .

and she did.

Many of us on here suffer from self esteem issues. We also have BPD/borderline traits. We are NOT healthy. We never would have stayed with these people if we were.

I want all of you to get better. I want all of you to be happy, healthy and thriving. If I could make one wish today it would be that each and everyone of you find the love you are seeking... .

within yourselves. You are HERE. You are the healthier of the two persons in your past relationship. God, I just wish that for you with much love in my heart.

Know you are thought of. 

This is going to be very hard for me (not checking in after today). A special thanks to Skip and all who moderate this site. You do such a great job. I wish BPD did not exist. I know this site wouldn't be in existance but wow, could you imagine a world without this?

I really wish you all a happy holiday season and a blessed New Year.

If you are NOT in some sort of therapy, please, please look into it. You need the tools to get through this and live a happy, happy life.

Love to you all.

Earth 

[Pretty Woman]

Hi All,

   I just wanted to take the opportunity to say goodbye.

It is not easy, as I have really come to regard all of you as trusted friends on this journey through BPD (my nightmare and hell).

I am working with a new therapist and have been instructed to stay off the boards/eliminate all contact with my ex-including being in the same environment/social circle and to not read self-help books.

This is intensive therapy and I am fully committed to it for the next year. It is ridiculously expensive but I was going to have surgery last year (weight loss) for the same cost.

I want to get better and get my life on track. This is my gift to myself.

What I have learned: I have BPD traits. My mother was a borderline. I push pulled my ex as much as she did me... .

She never loved me, and I was looking for approval from someone who would never be able to give it to me. She is like a wounded bird I caged because I wanted to keep her. I never thought she would leave... .

and she did.

Many of us on here suffer from self esteem issues. We also have BPD/borderline traits. We are NOT healthy. We never would have stayed with these people if we were.

I want all of you to get better. I want all of you to be happy, healthy and thriving. If I could make one wish today it would be that each and everyone of you find the love you are seeking... .

within yourselves. You are HERE. You are the healthier of the two persons in your past relationship. God, I just wish that for you with much love in my heart.

Know you are thought of. 

This is going to be very hard for me (not checking in after today). A special thanks to Skip and all who moderate this site. You do such a great job. I wish BPD did not exist. I know this site wouldn't be in existance but wow, could you imagine a world without this?

I really wish you all a happy holiday season and a blessed New Year.

If you are NOT in some sort of therapy, please, please look into it. You need the tools to get through this and live a happy, happy life.

Love to you all.

Earth 

[love4meNOTu]

I will miss you EarthAngel... .but what you are doing is the best thing for YOU.

Please consider checking back in after a few months and sharing your progress. We can learn so much from one another.

God bless you on your journey.

L

 

[Skip]

We are proud of you and wish you the best in your healing!  Good mental health is hard - we have to work at it.

[Pretty Woman]

Thank you, love4meNOTu

I hope I learn a lot during this journey.

I will certainly check in when the time is right.  I promise.

[Surnia]

Hi Earth Angel

Thank you so much for your kind words here and for sharing your story.

What a great step! So much commitment, honesty  and insight. I am deeply impressed. From all my heart I wish you that you will reach your goal, to get your life on the right track.

Love, joy and resilience for you.

[Tincanmike]

Earth,

Thanks for all of your insightful posts. We are all on a journey and I wish you the best with yours.  Difficult decisions must be made by us all and you are working on yourself which is extremely important for you and those in your life.  Take care of yourself and thanks again for sharing on this board.

[Numbers]

Thank you for being here also for me, best of luck, and see you on the other side!

[Perfidy]

Best wishes for you earth... .I'm fast approaching that decision myself. I can understand. Peace.

[heartandwhole]

EarthAngel,

What a wonderful thing you are doing for yourself, and a great example for all of us.  I wish you continued success with your healing and please do come back when the time is right and share your insights.  We love good news!

All the best to you 

[RecycledNoMore]

Angel!

Your an amazing person, I have always enjoyed your insightful,thought provoking posts, Im so happy you are moving on and have a plan to figure out your life, I will miss you but im glad your getting on the horse and riding off into the sunset... .

Hugs and love from New Zealand!

Merry Christmas Angel!

[LilMissSunshine]

Your my angel.  I'll miss you... .XOLXO

www.youtube.com/watch?v=R05vA18xGLc

[Learning_curve74]

 

[damage control]

EarthAngel ...  I wish you light and love  ... I really do. ...  

[willtimeheal]

Best of luck earth angel. Stay strong and be well.

[SicMDawgs]

Best of luck !  Happy Holidays !