A test of loyalty?

[kelkay]

How are we supposed to know the difference when they are testing our loyalty, testing our boundries, or they actually want to leave?  As most BPD's threaten to leave alot, how do we know the if they are crying wolf or its real?  There are many mixed signals in my situation.  Such as, why would he ask if we can talk about this?  Why would he go to the landlady and tell her to give us another month to work on our problems before he can answer that he is staying here, or leaving?  To me, it seems as if he wants to work things out. But, he acts like I have no choice to make things better, like that is in the past and he is not giving it another chance. 

The other two times he got into this "Im leaving you"  "Im throwing you out" mode, he acted the exact same way.

His mother has been in town for 2 weeks and I think her abandonment of him when he was 13 is one thing that has triggered him. Plus, he was away from me working for a month. All was fine, and then it just started out of the blue. As it did the other two times in the past 5 years.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[elemental]

Uncertainty is awful to manage.

Do you have a plan in case he does leave? If you have a plan b where you can keep your living situation stable, maybe you will feel more control and safer instead of having to deal with so much anxiety about what HE is doing.

[kelkay]

I do have a plan. But, I would be more anxious if I wasnt here. They do try and keep you off balance, so I guess this is all normal. You just never know.