My cat

[zubizou87]

I've just entered a new relationship with a guy who I think might be NPD

Things have moved very fast with us and although I still have my apartment we are practically living at his.

One thing he always does which is strange is I have a pet cat who also lives with us and although he doesn't seem to like the cat he insists that it stays at our apartment, almost so he deliberately has something to complain about. Does anyone else have this problem with an NPD fixating on something or someone they don't like in your life?Even if it's a pet?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[babyducks]

Does anyone else have this problem with an NPD fixating on something or someone they don't like in your life?Even if it's a pet?

Yes.  To both.  My EX absolutely abhorred one of my family members and both of my dogs.  They were a challenge to her being Preeminent and Dominant in my life in terms of importance.  She was jealous of all three and any time I spent with them or talking about them triggered all sorts of mistreatment and bad behavior.

My Ex never would budge on the topic.  No matter what I tried.  She wanted them out of my life.

[elemental]

My ex husband, maybe NPD, and definitely ADHD met my family as a whole once. He refused to have any intentional contact with them for the 10 years we were together. I got a cat 1 year into the relationship and he really liked the cat and was fine with it until we divorced and I took the cat with me.

When I was pregnant with our son, my ex insisted I have no contact with my family at all, including my mom. I tried to please him, but had it after a few months and saw my family anyway. My son dearly loved my stepdad and considered him grandpa. Ex hated me for it. I don't care.

[Southern_Belle]

Oh my goodness, YES!

My BPD bf, E, hates, and I mean hates my two friends Susan and Jay. He constantly pesters me to give them up and says once I do that, he would be able to heal and move on with life and his BPD treatment.

Anytime he's angry, he brings them up in the argument even when they have nothing to do with the current issue he's complaining about. Everything is about them and everything is all their fault!

[PacifistMom]

Everyone. I don't think there are more than maybe 1 or 2 relatives or friends of mine he has never or doesn't currently blame for anything/everything. He doesn't fixate on our dog (which I didn't want in the first place because I knew would fall all on me) but he doesn't do anything for her even though he is the one that wanted a dog.

[janey62]

Yes!

My bf is very irritable with my dogs.  If they make a sound he complains... . yet he claims to love them.

He exploded in the end because they slept in my room on the floor.  I never noticed that they made any noise but to him it was unbearable.  I understand that not everyone has their dogs in their bedroom with them, but they are small, don't smell bad and I'd been living alone for a long time before I met him.

Now, when he stays they have to be in another room. 

During the day he is on edge all the time, telling them off if they breathe.  He knows this bugs me.

He also has ranted about my son, 18, who is no trouble to him or me.  He had a rant where he picked on any and every little thing, saying he is spoilt, lazy, gets all of my attention, that I think more of my son and my dogs than I do of him.

Another thing he does, and this is partly my fault for ever mentioning this to him, is he lists all of my past boyfriends and says that I mistreated them all and that proves what a terrible person I am.  He says I'm a whore too, often!

Whenever he goes on a rant at me I feel physically beaten up!  My heart and stomach are twisted in knots and my adrenalin is pumping and I feel like the ground is shaking under my feet.

Pah!

[Chosen]

I got my cat before uBPDh and I were married.  He adores the cat, although he's not really an animal person. 

But when the cat gets aggressive (which is all the time, esp since H keeps doing stuff the cat doesn't like, he inisists it's "for him (the cat) to get used to it and like it", he will tell me he hates animals, he hates cats and he doesn't know why I bring a cat home to torture him.

And then after a while he will ooh and ahhh at the cat again.