new year new thread

[Hellothere]

To all the lovely helpful people on here i hope you all had a lovely Xmas an New year. Thank you for all of the support and answers since I joined. 

Today's thread from me is about the fact that I am seeing serious healing progress recently. 

I am so glad I am sstarting to break free of everything finally.


The reason for todays post however is that now I have had this progress I am starting to notice I am grieveing the last relationships before my BPDex. I think that maybe I had a lot of unresolved grief to work through before meeting her. 

Now when I notice a thought about either one of my exes pop up I literally stop myself in my tracks and take a deep breath and make sure the thoughts and stress and pain pass before I carry on again.(try it really helps). I really hope that if I stay single for a few months more (at least!) That I will have the time to clear everything out properly this time.

I was just wondering, if anyone else on here had noticed that once the large majority of issues and all the other junk had been worked through from your BPD ex you noticed your other ex's started to randomly crop up?


Thinking about it I think that it might be that my brain is so used to ruminating and chewing up the same thoughts over and over again that now I'm starting to head towards brighter shores my brain is bringing up any old excuse to fall into the pattern of rumination... any thoughts anyone? 

[strikeforce]

A journey of a thousand steps begins with one.

I hope you had a good Christmas and New Year 

Glad to hear your breaking free

I was just wondering, if anyone else on here had noticed that once the large majority of issues and all the other junk had been worked through from your BPD ex you noticed your other ex's started to randomly crop up?

You mean coming back after you have began to move on?

[heartandwhole]

Hellothere,

This is great news, congrats on the milestone.   

I was just wondering, if anyone else on here had noticed that once the large majority of issues and all the other junk had been worked through from your BPD ex you noticed your other ex's started to randomly crop up?

Can't say this has happened to me specifically, but I do know that these breakups often touch feelings/wounds that have been buried for years, so it doesn't surprise me at all that you are processing old relationship issues.   For me, it was more about my FOO and I started to grieve things about my family dynamics, and still am to some extent.

I really hope that if I stay single for a few months more (at least!) That I will have the time to clear everything out properly this time.

Isn't this up to you? 

[Naddred369]

Hi,

Through counselling and introspection, I realized that I lay open to the abuse of the BPDexgf coz of major issues im my previous relationship(17 years in total).

I ran from one pain straight into the teeth of hell. So im dealing with the hurt of two emotionally painfull r/s's.

The hurt must be resolved and processed.