My X and her Splitting

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Maybe it was the comment in my other thread on the lists... . but my X basically doesn't trust anybody. "Because I've been screwed over in the past." Yes, then I see it is completely logical to split everybody on the planet black.

Even her love attachments, she is so desparate to cling to in that phase, she splits black. She runs background checks on all of her boyfriends. I found evidence on our computer that she did it for her boy toy some months back, too.

Overall, due to hers (and all of their) abandonment fears, they will always split us black in the end, because they have done so before they met us. As mine says/thinks: "everybody cheats. Everybody abandons."

It has nothing to do with us. I just realized that Solipsism is a BPD trait. No wonder they are so angry... . 1 person against another 7 billion.

[Turkish]

Maybe it was the comment in my other thread on the lists... . but my X basically doesn't trust anybody. "Because I've been screwed over in the past." Yes, then I see it is completely logical to split everybody on the planet black.

Even her love attachments, she is so desparate to cling to in that phase, she splits black. She runs background checks on all of her boyfriends. I found evidence on our computer that she did it for her boy toy some months back, too.

Overall, due to hers (and all of their) abandonment fears, they will always split us black in the end, because they have done so before they met us. As mine says/thinks: "everybody cheats. Everybody abandons."

It has nothing to do with us. I just realized that Solipsism is a BPD trait. No wonder they are so angry... . 1 person against another 7 billion.

[arn131arn]

I think you're right on here, Turk.  Mine, I know, learned this from her mother growing up. Her mother devalues men and told her repeatedly, that they would leave, talk bad about her father, and they would cheat, lie, and always leave her.  This is how she grew up from the age of 5 when her dad left.

Her mom still has hopes and dreams that she will one day be together with her father again... . it's just so crazy and bizarre.  I think during the last recycle attempt last year between Oct and late Nov, she told me something that may have been the most honest statement she ever made to me:

she said "You know, Arn, I don't trust anyone.  I have a hard time trusting people... . anyone."

Then she lied to me a week later about not being at a concert.  When I found out, I went nuts, I was angry and pissed, checking on her every move, trying to catch her in lies, but in the end, it was my behavior after the lie and my drinking that caused to demise of that recycle attempt.

what does Solipsism mean btw?

[Turkish]

I think you're right on here, Turk.  Mine, I know, learned this from her mother growing up. Her mother devalues men and told her repeatedly, that they would leave, talk bad about her father, and they would cheat, lie, and always leave her.  This is how she grew up from the age of 5 when her dad left.

Her mom still has hopes and dreams that she will one day be together with her father again... . it's just so crazy and bizarre.  I think during the last recycle attempt last year between Oct and late Nov, she told me something that may have been the most honest statement she ever made to me:

she said "You know, Arn, I don't trust anyone.  I have a hard time trusting people... . anyone."

Then she lied to me a week later about not being at a concert.  When I found out, I went nuts, I was angry and pissed, checking on her every move, trying to catch her in lies, but in the end, it was my behavior after the lie and my drinking that caused to demise of that recycle attempt.

what does Solipsism mean btw?

That projection is so frustrating, no?

Solipsism is the philosophical position that one cannot know anything outside of one's own mind. Said another way, there is no way to really prove that anything or anyone else really exists. "I alone exist," perhaps. Any philosophy majors or pedants can probably correct or add to that... .

[delusionalxox]

Agreed, Turkish.

The splitting black and (more rarely) white is so clear isn't it, particularly in retrospect.

My ex rages at the world in general for not recognising his brilliance, awarding him a job in his (very abstract) chosen field. I saw him viciously attack and criticise friends and family members, usually behind their backs. With me, he felt he could let rip in the guise of 'trying to help' me.

I found with him that certain people would be elevated to 'parental' worship status-- if they promised something he wanted, such as a job or help with his work.

[Ironmanrises]

Maybe it was the comment in my other thread on the lists... . but my X basically doesn't trust anybody. "Because I've been screwed over in the past." Yes, then I see it is completely logical to split everybody on the planet black.

Even her love attachments, she is so desparate to cling to in that phase, she splits black. She runs background checks on all of her boyfriends. I found evidence on our computer that she did it for her boy toy some months back, too.

Overall, due to hers (and all of their) abandonment fears, they will always split us black in the end, because they have done so before they met us. As mine says/thinks: "everybody cheats. Everybody abandons."

It has nothing to do with us. I just realized that Solipsism is a BPD trait. No wonder they are so angry... . 1 person against another 7 billion.

I heard the same lines from my exUBPDgf too, Turkish. They are projections of what they end up doing to the non. Mine did that to me 3 times. She abandoned me in friendship. In round 1 of relationship. And in round 2 of relationship. Everybody leaves she would voice out to me and her social media world. Yet it was her, who left each and every time. Even during friendship.

[feelingcrazy7832]

My ex rages at the world in general for not recognising his brilliance, awarding him a job in his (very abstract) chosen field. I saw him viciously attack and criticise friends and family members, usually behind their backs.

I shouldn't be shocked at this point but each time I read something that so closely mirrors what my ex did it's crazy. My ex made fun of his family in the most HORRID ways ever... . until of course, they were manipulated into giving him what he wanted.

[arn131arn]

Maybe it was the comment in my other thread on the lists... . but my X basically doesn't trust anybody. "Because I've been screwed over in the past." Yes, then I see it is completely logical to split everybody on the planet black.

Even her love attachments, she is so desparate to cling to in that phase, she splits black. She runs background checks on all of her boyfriends. I found evidence on our computer that she did it for her boy toy some months back, too.

Overall, due to hers (and all of their) abandonment fears, they will always split us black in the end, because they have done so before they met us. As mine says/thinks: "everybody cheats. Everybody abandons."

It has nothing to do with us. I just realized that Solipsism is a BPD trait. No wonder they are so angry... . 1 person against another 7 billion.

I heard the same lines from my exUBPDgf too, Turkish. They are projections of what they end up doing to the non. Mine did that to me 3 times. She abandoned me in friendship. In round 1 of relationship. And in round 2 of relationship. Everybody leaves she would voice out to me and her social media world. Yet it was her, who left each and every time. Even during friendship.

I didn't even think about this ironmanfalls.  I've spent the last 4 days wondering about what that damn song on her FB, "Let Her Go" sung by that leprechaun dude meant!

She was hoping (which I did) see it, and maybe stir a reaction in me.  She was trying to tell me that I let her go; but it was her projecting that she let me go with her new guy toy! I am soo enlightened now.

But it's your fault, ironmanfalls for my feeling like s**t the past 4 sdays... . you could have just told me sooner. thanks allot! LOL  

[Ironmanrises]

Maybe it was the comment in my other thread on the lists... . but my X basically doesn't trust anybody. "Because I've been screwed over in the past." Yes, then I see it is completely logical to split everybody on the planet black.

Even her love attachments, she is so desparate to cling to in that phase, she splits black. She runs background checks on all of her boyfriends. I found evidence on our computer that she did it for her boy toy some months back, too.

Overall, due to hers (and all of their) abandonment fears, they will always split us black in the end, because they have done so before they met us. As mine says/thinks: "everybody cheats. Everybody abandons."

It has nothing to do with us. I just realized that Solipsism is a BPD trait. No wonder they are so angry... . 1 person against another 7 billion.

I heard the same lines from my exUBPDgf too, Turkish. They are projections of what they end up doing to the non. Mine did that to me 3 times. She abandoned me in friendship. In round 1 of relationship. And in round 2 of relationship. Everybody leaves she would voice out to me and her social media world. Yet it was her, who left each and every time. Even during friendship.

I didn't even think about this ironmanfalls.  I've spent the last 4 days wondering about what that damn song on her FB, "Let Her Go" sung by that leprechaun dude meant!

She was hoping (which I did) see it, and maybe stir a reaction in me.  She was trying to tell me that I let her go; but it was her projecting that she let me go with her new guy toy! I am soo enlightened now.

But it's your fault, ironmanfalls for my feeling like s**t the past 4 sdays... . you could have just told me sooner. thanks allot! LOL  

Oh you mean you didn't get my telepathically sent message directly to your frontal lobe that I sent out yesterday?   Off to purgatory for you arn! 

[arn131arn]

No, man I didn't... . damn you IMF!

Just kidding... . you brought great insight to me tonight on where I was the past four days.

And I believe God did for me tonight what I couldn't do for myself.

I can now see her disorder and how bad it is with a false allegation of harrassment.

I was out of town when it happened.  I'm thinking of having my lawyer send a demand or letter stating if this slandering, false allegations don't stop then my camp will start with the 911 calls.

Thanks for your help... . I needed it, bro!

[Ironmanrises]

The projections are truly mind bending and I didn't really see it in all its god awful glory until round 2 devaluation. It was like watching light bend and twist as it passes through a prism. Good thing you were out of town when that happened. That should help you as well. Hang in there Arn.

[Perfidy]

Turk that's kind of interesting. You got me thinking... . (uh oh)... The one that was with me had zero respect from the git go. I always wondered why. Not that it makes any difference but its just a little piece of the puzzle that kinda fell into place. She musta thought it was going to end quick  anyway therefore respect wasn't necessary. Not that I could ever get so crazy as to wanna be in her head. But that is what I think. Her fear of being abandoned was actually just a logical conclusion to her that she acted accordingly on. There. I figured her out!