Pink Panther coffee moment

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

I was in town earlier sorting out some an issue with my bank. I forgot the appointment time had been moved back by an hour till the cashier told me upon my arrival. I said it wasn't a problem & headed to a cafe just across the street to 'waste' an hour with coffee & a newspaper.

I got my coffee & found a table, quiet spot near the back of the cafe & settled into a comfy leather chair with todays black & white print of all that's wrong in the world!

After ten minutes or so, in among the rumble of voices, tea spoons clattering & milk steamers, I heard a familiar voice & looked up from my newspaper.

There, at a table in the window I saw my uBPDex sitting chatting on her phone. I looked around the cafe for who she may be with. Then I spotted my replacement queuing to get their coffees!

TRIGGERED NOWHERE NEAR COVERS IT!

It instantly became a scene from a Pink Panther movie with me dithering & becoming a dis-functioning Inspector Clouseau type figure in the corner. Hidden behind my instantly raised newspaper & finding myself acting the most conspicuous I could in my desperate attempt to be inconspicuous!

I sat & watched as 'new knight' well, (recycled replacement from last summer actually) headed to their table as she ended her call. Then I had the pleasure of watching them laughing & smiling while they enjoyed their coffees. They appeared to have no idea I was there. I'm blown if I know how because everyone seated near me must have been wondering what the hell was wrong with the weird guy with the newspaper!

I wanted to become invisible!

I wanted them to see me!

I wanted HER to see me!

I wanted to batter him!

I wanted to batter both of them!

I felt sorry for him!

I felt sorry for her!

I felt everything! Every emotion thinkable with the exception of the most important one, 'HAPPY'!

I finished my coffee while keeping my shield of newspaper held up to hide my identity. And that's no mean feat when ya need two hands to hold the paper up & one to drink the coffee! 

Then, after waiting for 15 minutes or so, hoping they'd get finished & leave, I decided I just needed to bolt. I placed the newspaper on the table exposing my identity should either look my way. I stood up & did my best to put one foot in front of the other & somehow made my way towards them, the window, and my goal... . THE DOOR.

I walked past their table not looking nowhere other than straight ahead. I have no idea if she/they saw me walk by. No matter as they will have seen me walk past their window outside on the pavement.

I am a total dithering mess still. I made the appointment at the bank but that too was just like a scene with Inspector Clouseau!

I made it home & to the sanctuary of my own lounge. I sat down, tried to compose myself, failed & cried like a baby!



Thank the gods for this site & the folks that you are. Thanks for reading if you got this far. I needed to get that 'out there'.


Moonie.

[Moonie75]

I was in town earlier sorting out some an issue with my bank. I forgot the appointment time had been moved back by an hour till the cashier told me upon my arrival. I said it wasn't a problem & headed to a cafe just across the street to 'waste' an hour with coffee & a newspaper.

I got my coffee & found a table, quiet spot near the back of the cafe & settled into a comfy leather chair with todays black & white print of all that's wrong in the world!

After ten minutes or so, in among the rumble of voices, tea spoons clattering & milk steamers, I heard a familiar voice & looked up from my newspaper.

There, at a table in the window I saw my uBPDex sitting chatting on her phone. I looked around the cafe for who she may be with. Then I spotted my replacement queuing to get their coffees!

TRIGGERED NOWHERE NEAR COVERS IT!

It instantly became a scene from a Pink Panther movie with me dithering & becoming a dis-functioning Inspector Clouseau type figure in the corner. Hidden behind my instantly raised newspaper & finding myself acting the most conspicuous I could in my desperate attempt to be inconspicuous!

I sat & watched as 'new knight' well, (recycled replacement from last summer actually) headed to their table as she ended her call. Then I had the pleasure of watching them laughing & smiling while they enjoyed their coffees. They appeared to have no idea I was there. I'm blown if I know how because everyone seated near me must have been wondering what the hell was wrong with the weird guy with the newspaper!

I wanted to become invisible!

I wanted them to see me!

I wanted HER to see me!

I wanted to batter him!

I wanted to batter both of them!

I felt sorry for him!

I felt sorry for her!

I felt everything! Every emotion thinkable with the exception of the most important one, 'HAPPY'!

I finished my coffee while keeping my shield of newspaper held up to hide my identity. And that's no mean feat when ya need two hands to hold the paper up & one to drink the coffee! 

Then, after waiting for 15 minutes or so, hoping they'd get finished & leave, I decided I just needed to bolt. I placed the newspaper on the table exposing my identity should either look my way. I stood up & did my best to put one foot in front of the other & somehow made my way towards them, the window, and my goal... . THE DOOR.

I walked past their table not looking nowhere other than straight ahead. I have no idea if she/they saw me walk by. No matter as they will have seen me walk past their window outside on the pavement.

I am a total dithering mess still. I made the appointment at the bank but that too was just like a scene with Inspector Clouseau!

I made it home & to the sanctuary of my own lounge. I sat down, tried to compose myself, failed & cried like a baby!



Thank the gods for this site & the folks that you are. Thanks for reading if you got this far. I needed to get that 'out there'.


Moonie.

[Free2Bee]

But you handled it really well!

That's my worst nightmare. Seriously, my heart would be in my stomach.

What I liked best about this is the way you witnessed and acknowledged your emotions, but did your Inspector Clouseau best to stay calm. I know I couldn't have topped that. Well done!

[Moonie75]

Yup! It's feckin hard to get a drink down when your heart's stuck in your throat!

Humor is how I deal with things, but I'm sat here at home & intermittently still bursting into tears.

Everyone thinks I'm a tough guy, strong guy. I'm not when it comes to moments that test me in ways like that experience did.

[Ironmanrises]

All things considering, you handled a nightmare-ish scenario well. I would have gone supernova had that been me. And the tears, those would have accompanied me too. Hang in there my friend. 

[LilMissSunshine]

"I moved here to be with my BPDex & I love this area. With one exception, it's a small comunity & she's in it.

Despite my fondness for where I currently live (beautiful part of South West England),  I think I might heal quicker if I were to move back home.  Possibly returning to enjoy these surroundings once I'm healed & indifferent to her.

But there's that damned 'stiff upper lip Englishman' in me saying "No. Don't let this harlot run you off her manor."

It's a tough call & though I like my new friends here, moving home to my own manor has a lot to be said for it."

        

[Moonie75]

Going home is being 'run out'.

Staying is torture.

Rock & A Hard Place!

[fromheeltoheal]

My ex lives 1700 miles away now so that could never happen with us, but I wonder how I would feel today if it did.  I know what she'd do: launch into that flirty, superficial banter she does so well, the one I once loved and grew to hate.  The question is what would I do?  Situations like that are a great test on how we're doing with our detachment, and I'd love to say it would be ho-hum for me, maybe notice how fat she got, maybe get more confirmation that leaving her was the right thing to do.  I think that's what would happen, he says comfortably perched behind his monitor, but the only way to really know is test it, and I don't care enough to try.

Hang in there man, use it as feedback, maybe confirmation that you're better off without her, and maybe a healthy kick in the butt to up your detachment efforts.  Take care of you!

[laelle]

Your post is so endearing!  I can imagine the conflicting emotions you must be experiencing.  For me, when I am able to function coherently during times of severe stress, I give myself a HUGE pat on the back, (and buy myself a pair of shoes    Look what you did!  You looked your biggest fears in the eye and non nonchalantly walked past them.  That is no small feat, and took lots of personal strength!

You talk as if crying means you are weak, on the contrary, crying means you are reasonably healthy person.  We all need to "purge" a little after our buttons are pushed.

It is your air too... . dont let anyone steal that from you.  The Pink Panther would be proud  

[Skip]

One of my greatest fears in my breakup.  I was fortunate not to experience it... but I agonized over the possibility... . ruminated about it to desensitize myself... . did fire drills in my mind so I that I might be prepared not to make a fool of myself if introduced.

It's hard a hard thing, man.  It's hard to let go of someone you love.

[Moonie75]

My penance for kicking Gary Barlow in nuts when we attended the same school?

Frustrated with creative block, he must have taken time away from the piano last night & thought back to that event while sat at his voodoo karma balancing alter!

Okay Gary, ya got me! I've paid!









Next will be Noddy Holders turn.

I upset him good n' proper once, when I made a joke with him about his Christmas bonus!

[santa]

Awesome story, Moonie.

I loved the details. It was easy to picture the scene. You handled it great. Very cool.

[myself]

Moonie, that made me nervous for you. Like you took a test. That ten second walk would have felt like an hour to me. You did your best, got out of there and found release. Of course you were emotional. That's good. It's part of letting go. One of these days you may be sitting with someone, and your ex will feel she has to skitter by. You won't notice though because you'll be in the moment, not the past. 

[feelingcrazy7832]

I felt anxiety just reading your post. My ex lives in the same small town I grew up in where my mom and other family live so I can almost guarantee I will at some point run into him. 

[Waifed]

Sorry you had to go through this. You handled it very well. One day her replacement will be the one reading the newspaper and so on and so on... . It is good that you are committed to breaking the cycle with her.

[Moonie75]

One day her replacement will be the one reading the newspaper and so on and so on... . It is good that you are committed to breaking the cycle with her.

Waifed, it did me good to read this comment. Thank you buddy.

[Moonie75]

The episode hit me harder than even I realised. I was in bed by 11pm last night but my brain wouldn't shut up! Every time I closed my eyes my mind replayed the days coffee shop scene.

I was still awake at 4am being haunted all night by my own mind!

[sun seeker]

  Moonie.

Thats a hell of a story... .

My biggest fear is this. I got nervous just reading it . But you handled yourself like a pro. Proud of you brother.