Moving on from leaving...

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

It's time, I took comfort in visiting the leaving board on this site to find understanding and comfort for what I was dealing with in the aftermath of the breakup with my expwBPD. After spending time there today I realized still acknowledging it, and being on the leaving board was still giving my ex control that it still bothered me.

On the leaving board I discovered the gift of a rs with a pwbod is an opportunity to see what about myself allowed me to get into that relationship and put up with it and ignore the red flags. Working with my T I'm accepting some of my own self esteem issues and white knight syndrome/ rescuer mentality.

In ready to move on from what he put me through and no longer validate his part of it. To begin to take responsibility for my part and make myself a better more self aware person.

I hope to find as much knowledge and understanding of myself on this board as I did about my ex on the leaving board. The time to focus on him is over. The time to focus on myself begins.

Hope to find as many helpful and supportive people on here. Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself!

[CoasterRider]

It's time, I took comfort in visiting the leaving board on this site to find understanding and comfort for what I was dealing with in the aftermath of the breakup with my expwBPD. After spending time there today I realized still acknowledging it, and being on the leaving board was still giving my ex control that it still bothered me.

On the leaving board I discovered the gift of a rs with a pwbod is an opportunity to see what about myself allowed me to get into that relationship and put up with it and ignore the red flags. Working with my T I'm accepting some of my own self esteem issues and white knight syndrome/ rescuer mentality.

In ready to move on from what he put me through and no longer validate his part of it. To begin to take responsibility for my part and make myself a better more self aware person.

I hope to find as much knowledge and understanding of myself on this board as I did about my ex on the leaving board. The time to focus on him is over. The time to focus on myself begins.

Hope to find as many helpful and supportive people on here. Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself!

[ucmeicu2]

It's time, I took comfort in visiting the leaving board on this site to find understanding and comfort for what I was dealing with in the aftermath of the breakup with my expwBPD. After spending time there today I realized still acknowledging it, and being on the leaving board was still giving my ex control that it still bothered me.

On the leaving board I discovered the gift of a rs with a pwbod is an opportunity to see what about myself allowed me to get into that relationship and put up with it and ignore the red flags. Working with my T I'm accepting some of my own self esteem issues and white knight syndrome/ rescuer mentality.

hi CoasterRider, welcome!    

it's a major shift ~ and such a healthy one.  bravo!

anything in particular on your mind?  we're here to listen, explore, help tease things apart, etc, any time you're ready   

icu2

[fromheeltoheal]

I'm with you Coaster, and good for you!

What I've accepted is I wasn't getting validation, compassion and empathy from my ex, and I need those most, so I'm looking at all of my relationships through that lens, which is new for me.

Today's other issues are looking at how I live my life: I know that living true to my values and with integrity is the 'right' way, and when I do that I have more confidence and self esteem.  Of course knowing what to do and doing what you know are two different things; I was not living like that when my ex showed up, a sitting duck for dysfunction, and look how that turned out.  Time for an upgrade, and today I've worked out, worked, eaten well, meditated, a perfect day so far.  Forward... .

[Lucky Jim]

Hi CoasterRider, After the BPD r/s shipwreck, when you find yourself washed up on a beach and realize you're still here in one piece, you've arrived at the Personal Inventory Board!  Maybe you won't be "riding coasters" anymore.  It gets interesting when you discover that life is a lot calmer without all the drama and stress that go hand in hand with being in a r/s with a pwBPD.  It also feels a lot more authentic when you find yourself back on your path again.  Lucky Jim