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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: Rough day  (Read 383 times)
ts919
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: married
Posts: 186


« on: February 06, 2014, 09:31:00 AM »

Hey all - just having a bit of a rough morning here.  Our final hearing is coming up in two weeks and uBPDw still hasn't moved out of the house (she has at least started accumulating some boxes in the garage) and I'm just getting anxious.  I'm possibly having to leave town next week for work (something I am trying to avoid) and the tension is so thick in my home... . ugh... . just a rough morning  Smiling (click to insert in post)  Thankfully I have a T apt today so that should help; I usually feel relieved after my sessions - it's cathartic in a way.  Trying to stay busy, worked on some music last night, did some serious gaming and wrestling with S7... . it all helps for sure.

uBPDw had bought a puppy last week but returned it the other night (as if i needed any more confirmation of BPD... . who goes out and buys a puppy 3 weeks prior to being divorced? Better yet, who expects their stbexh to care for said puppy without ever discussing it ahead of time?).  I'm guessing she returned it because it did not get a reaction from me at all; I was more concerned about making sure that S7 (my son is from a previous marriage) did not get attached to the dog - i made it very clear to him that it was not going to be with us long; he seemed to handle it well.  Poor kid.  He's had so much thrown on his plate these past two years... .

I'm also expecting a "list" from her attorney listing the items she wants to remove from the marital home - the anticipation of this is killing me.  I know what to expect (uBPDw has a very hard time distinguishing pre-marital assets from marital assets... . at least in the case of things that were mine ahead of time; she has no problem remembering what was hers ahead of time) and I'm sure it will get interesting.  Especially when moving day finally comes - another event that is being kept in the dark. 

Just a few more weeks... . and then my life can be mine again. 

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Surnia
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
Posts: 3900



« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2014, 11:42:19 AM »

Ts919

I feel with you, all the tension before the final moving out! 

The thing with the puppy is  , you did a great job to think ahead and communicate it to your son and staying otherwise calm about it.  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

Keep going like this, Ts919, it will come the moment when you can start to write a new chapter.

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