Does anyone else deal with depression when pwBPD is able to continuously coast through life: narrowing avoiding rock bottom and yet never really making significant steps forward?
It can be frustrating. BPD is a complex condition. Hitting rock bottom won't fix anything in the sense that it leads to a significant step forward. Progress for a pwBPD is gradual and sometimes goes through confusing phases. It is not driven by insight but by acquiring regulation skills. That takes time and practice.
One feels quite helpless being an observer and often on the receiving end of a fallout. Still with some emotional reading skill build up by validating the pwBPD and good boundary skills we can more easily see when things fall apart and take precautions in advance. Knowing what to say when and being able to head of some disasters allows us to feel safer and relax more. Also that takes learning and practice and won't happen in a few weeks. The quickest impact from our side has avoiding invalidation.
The dynamic of BPD is driven by many factors. That is why it took so long to figure out a working therapy. Every single aspect is highly individual and confusing. No single change will have much impact. But together they do.
