Exactly. Thank you.
I honestly wouldn't object to looking for new PC's and doing it the right way (getting a court order if we find a good one) if I didn't think it would mean more walking on eggshells with him and jumping through hoops. I do think it might even be better to go about it the right way and find someone who can be court appointed, and stick with that person.
He makes things so difficult. I have to always be conscious about not making a decision just to get it over with so he'll stop badgering me. It's not always clear what the right decision is. If we pick a new PC, that person can be better, or worse. I just don't always know.
No, you don't always know what's right, especially on things like which PC would be best. You do some homework and then make your best judgment, just like we all do, and sometimes it works out well, and sometimes it doesn't.
You don't have to be badgered about stuff like this. You can communicate with him by e-mail, and send him very simple notes - 3 sentences max, just the information, no emotions or arguments. And then when he responds, you ignore anything that isn't constructive and only deal with what is useful. You don't have to talk to him on the phone or face-to-face if it doesn't work - just turn and walk away, and let his calls go to voice-mail.
It took me a while to change how I deal with my ex. Now I almost never see her face-to-face, and when I do I just say hello and walk on. If she calls I let it go to voice-mail and decide whether to call back based on what she says. If I decide to talk to her on the phone, and she says inappropriate stuff, I have learned to abruptly change the subject - no attempt at subtlety - just change the subject, to something directly related to the kids, and if that doesn't work, I hang up.
It's a big change but it works. You do not have to allow yourself to be badgered.
