Feeling down after friends talked about him and his new valentine

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I went to visit some friends today.  They brought up my exBPDh in conversation and went on to tell me that he had contacted them yesterday.  Apparently he made some joke about valentines day and buying flowers.

This made me feel sick.  I remember how he used to buy me flowers frequently.  Now he is doing this for the tart he replaced me with.  How can he have switched over so easily and quickly.  It is exactly 6 months to the day that he ended things with me and moved on to her just days later (if not before).  Now I am being told that he is introducing her to our friends and is buying a house for them to live in.

I feel a mixture of disbelief, rage and sickness.  I would happily like to see him rot in hell!  Yet at the same time, I am sad because I remember how he treated me at first.

I am going out tonight, but I know that it will be ruined because that @@@ will be on my mind again.

Sorry but I just had to vent!

[Popcorn71]

I went to visit some friends today.  They brought up my exBPDh in conversation and went on to tell me that he had contacted them yesterday.  Apparently he made some joke about valentines day and buying flowers.

This made me feel sick.  I remember how he used to buy me flowers frequently.  Now he is doing this for the tart he replaced me with.  How can he have switched over so easily and quickly.  It is exactly 6 months to the day that he ended things with me and moved on to her just days later (if not before).  Now I am being told that he is introducing her to our friends and is buying a house for them to live in.

I feel a mixture of disbelief, rage and sickness.  I would happily like to see him rot in hell!  Yet at the same time, I am sad because I remember how he treated me at first.

I am going out tonight, but I know that it will be ruined because that @@@ will be on my mind again.

Sorry but I just had to vent!

[Johnny Alias]

Sorry.  If these are friends WHY would they do that to you?  I'd have a serious talk with them and establish boundaries asap or get rid of them.  That's incredibly insensitive. 

I had to have the same conversation with a friend of mine yesterday.  Serious.  Does MAJOR damage to you to hear about the stuff.  ZERO benefit. 

[Popcorn71]

Exactly, maybe they are not the friends I thought they were.  Actually they were his friends first and I met them through him but having known them for 9 years I counted them as being my friends now.  I did get a feeling that they were 'fishing' for info on my life now and wondered if they would feed it back to him.

I don't think I will visit them again.

[Want2know]

I remember when I was in the process of breaking up with my ex, I was told that there are some people that were in your life that become 'collateral damage'.  It's a sad thing.  I lost what I thought were a few really good friends, as they were his friends first.

Valentine's day is hard for anyone who is single - I know, I'm there, but especially when you let your mind go down the path of imagining what is going on with your ex.  In reality, maybe their evening will turn out to be a disaster... . with the volatility of a pwBPD/NPD, you just never know.

Be kind to yourself.