qcr

[Verbena]

The more time that goes by without an update from qcr, the more concerned I am.  I check this board often and have seen nothing in awhile.  I sincerely hope and pray that the police have found her daughter by now and that she is safe. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[llbee814]

I hope all is well with qcarolr, too.  It's hard when people on here drop off the radar, briefly or otherwise.  I like to think it's not necessarily because of a bad patch... . it could be due to (hopefully) a peaceful patch.  I mostly keep a low profile myself, pretty much due to the uncertainty of my own emotions with dealing with my dd.  We all know how difficult simple day to day can be.  Let's hope best case scenario for qcarolr and that she is well.  Hoping and holding good thoughts for us all.  Blessings,  llbee.

[qcarolr]

ladies - thank you for your thoughtfulness. Overall I think I am doing OK. Tonight has been difficult for some reason. Get in a funk of deep sadness that things are so painful for so many. It has been hard to follow the stories here, so I have been taking some time off.

DD is moving about and not 'ready' to turn herself in. She will be hard to find as she knows many on the streets that are watching out for her. She is quite resourceful on in the homeless community. At least until she has a meltdown. I am not available for her other than an occasional phone contact from her or text. Running is not a solution. That is my standard answer for her.

I did post an update, and hope you can check it out.

qcr

[twojaybirds]

Thank you for the update qcr.

Sometimes all we can do is make it day to day with no additional distractions even this place.

Know I am praying for you and your family.

[qcarolr]

Met with gd8's T today. She has been seeing me weekly since last August. It is paid by gd's medicaid and I am so grateful. She really 'gets' my distress with detaching from DD27 and also how much gd needs this to happen.

Today we talked about DD not coming back into our home, and how solid dh and I are about this boundary. Vital for each of us to stay healthy in so many ways. This opens up some therapy options for the T to help gd with issues around her mom. She said she did not pursue this when DD was in/out of our home as gd needed some of these 'tools' for her protection. And now she can let go of them. She did not get specific with me. She is doing EMDR with gd for her PTSD and trauma issues. Gd is able to focus enough to do this therapy since she began taking adderall for her ADHD.

Then the conversation turned to moving DD's stuff out of our home. That this would be good for gd. Good for me. And I cried. I have been knowing this needs doing for the past 5 months, yet I cannot seem to get the energy to do it. She asked if I had a friend that could help me, or family. No one in my family wants to be near my house - I do not trust them anyway after the isolation of the past 10 years. She suggested a friend from my faith group. I will think about this one. Why do I hesitate to ask dh to help with this? Maybe that he would get too angry at the messiness and not be gentle with her things?

And DD has stated very distinctly to 'leave my stuff alone'. Yet she cannot come to the house, and she has no place to put any of this stuff living homeless (most likely couch hopping at this point). I know she feels a connection to us with her stuff here. Maybe I feel a connection to her with her stuff here, even the aroma of her perfume.

We have tried a couple times in the past 12 months to put her stuff in storage -even rented a unit for one month but nothing got put there except bf stuff. DD refused to use it, and we did not go against her wishes to put her stuff in there. And it was too small a unit anyway. It was not for his stuff. So we cancelled it. All bf's stuff got donated after sitting in our garage 6 months with his promises to get it.

It feels awful to not be able to help DD pack up her stuff and move it somewhere for her to be with it. It just bursts that last little bubble of fantasy about her ever having a life that I can find any 'comfort' with. Will she always be homeless moving from one guy to the next? Yikes. This is so sad.

Enough for now.

qcr

[peaceplease]

I really have not read any of the posts yet, but a quick glance here.  I was thinking the same thing.  I was wondering how qcr was. 

Okay, I just read the update here.  Qcr, I can imagine that would be incredibly difficult to clear out dd's belongings.  I can understand the reason for it...   Your dd sounds like mine, in always demanding to not touch her stuff.  If it is rearranged, she will have a conniption.  I think most of her stuff is out of here now.  She asked if she could keep some of her stuff in our basement, as she did not have any storage space.  She has an extra room that she has her extras in.  I know that she would like to have that room furnished, but I have decided that she does not get to store her stuff here.  She is too demanding, and does not like when we move things. 

I am sorry that your dd is still on the run. That must be stressful for you! 

You remain in my thoughts and prayers.

peaceplease