Court date was cancelled at the last minute

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

So... . my court date was just cancelled at the last minute... . seems exBPDw and her lawyer are stalling.  They started asking for all kinds of info last minute  - this was supposed to be an uncontested divorce.  I'm not sure how much longer I can take this woman living in my house, mooching off of me and my child.  I'm just beyond frustrated right now as it looks like it's going to be at least another month till the hearing gets rescheduled.  In the mean time she has loaded our garage up with boxes but has yet to pack a single thing or make any plans (as far as I know) with regards to her moving out.  My attorney thinks her attorney is just hosing her for money... . I think uBPDw stalling, hoping I will eventually just cave in and not divorce her. 

Is it the weekend yet?  I need a drink!

[ts919]

So... . my court date was just cancelled at the last minute... . seems exBPDw and her lawyer are stalling.  They started asking for all kinds of info last minute  - this was supposed to be an uncontested divorce.  I'm not sure how much longer I can take this woman living in my house, mooching off of me and my child.  I'm just beyond frustrated right now as it looks like it's going to be at least another month till the hearing gets rescheduled.  In the mean time she has loaded our garage up with boxes but has yet to pack a single thing or make any plans (as far as I know) with regards to her moving out.  My attorney thinks her attorney is just hosing her for money... . I think uBPDw stalling, hoping I will eventually just cave in and not divorce her. 

Is it the weekend yet?  I need a drink!

[Changingman]

Watch your drinking, Brother!

Love

Changingman

[ts919]

Watch your drinking, Brother!

I know, right?

I'm a "one beer a night" type guy; that seems to do the trick most of the time

[ugghh]

I am there with you.  My stbx has already spent $5,000 and we have not even been to the first hearing yet.

[arn131arn]

Watch your drinking, Brother!

I know, right?

I'm a "one beer a night" type guy; that seems to do the trick most of the time

ONE beer?  Man, I wish... . ! I cam out of my mother with one beer!

Hang in there ts919, it WILL get better.

[ts919]

ONE beer?  Man, I wish... . ! I cam out of my mother with one beer!

Hang in there ts919, it WILL get better.

dude... . that just made my morning.  hahahahahaha

I will be using that phrase in the future - hope you're ok with that! 

[ForeverDad]

So... . my court date was just cancelled at the last minute... . seems exBPDw and her lawyer are stalling.  They started asking for all kinds of info last minute  - this was supposed to be an uncontested divorce.

Par for the course.  However, just with a one year marriage and no children from the union, this should be a less complicated case.  You or your lawyer needs to speak up to the judge.  Yes, my lawyer told me too, "But ex will get her continuance anyway."  The point is that the judge needs to know you're not agreeable to delays.  For all you know all the judge heard was was seemed like a joint request, "WE have some unresolved issues and WE need more time to prepare."

Ask and you might receive.  Don't ask and you won't receive.

1. While continuances are often granted upon request, it's usually only once or twice before the judge starts getting peeved and tells the slow lawyer to get moving.

2. Continuances are less likely to happen if you object to them.  If you're silent or passive then the judge can assume you're okay with another delay.

The reason no one seems to object to continuances is because it is "professional consideration" between lawyers, as in, work with me here and I'll work with you at another time.  However, in high conflict cases continuances are too often used as a delay strategy and not for real need.

I recall that my ex's lawyer filed for a pre-trial continuance claiming ex was under a doctor's care for pain.  Judge clearly noticed the case had already been 'continued' multiple times and didn't even give my lawyer a chance to object, said No, said it was a pre-trial and only the lawyers needed to be present.

It's okay to speak up and object.  You shouldn't timid, passive or inclined toward inaction.  (Perhaps not the other extreme and overly aggressive either.)  But you do need to be assertive and proactive.

[ts919]

Par for the course.  However, just with a one year marriage and no children from the union, this should be a less complicated case. 

Good advice; thanks ForeverDad!  You would think with a little over 2 years of marriage that this should get knocked out of the park pretty quickly... . but no.  Oh well.  Is what it is I suppose.  The best part is, I originally offered her a dissolution; and it was as steal for her.  Gave her the option to sign, move out and leave me with all of the debt.  She literally threw the paperwork in the toilet.  Now she's going to be required to pay for half of our debt... . I think her lawyer is milking some money from her honestly.