Well... . a few months have passed. Not a single day I don´t think about her or our RS. Still I´m on a good track. I´m training, focusing on my self and my family and living the simple life. I have cut down drinking and I have really focused on daily routines.
It helped me when I changed the context of the breakup into the death of a dream. The thing about these relationships is we expose ourselves at our core level and for a minute that core stuff we thought we were going to finally have seems possible. When that rug is pulled out from under us - it is just going to take time to heal.
Good job on the healthy routines, this is one of those things you can control.
But still the weird part is the effort that comes doing all this. I am "the healthy one" sort to speak. I don´t want to ever be with her again. But the "magical" memories still haunt me. But the bad things and the words and actions that affected me are always to remind me that I could never be with her.
Having 2 seemingly conflicting emotions but acting based on facts is emotional maturity. This is a skill taught in DBT actually.
But the weird thing is how hard it is do detach. How hard it is not to be angry. How hard it is not to think about the magical moments. How hard it is to miss the good things.
But that´s just the way it is I guess.
Time combined with our own healthy choices has a way of watering down those intense feelings. Patience and discipline are new skills we tend to learn in this process at an entirely new level.
You really are on the healing track
Peace,
SB