My update

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

So, it had being nearly a month that I decided to leave and iniciated NC.

Yesterday he called me up at 4:00 am I didn't answer. So he left me a ridiculous voice mail saying he wasn't dreaming of calling me but he needed to tell me something.

He called again and I didn't answer, so he started writting messages. Said he had something "urgent" to tell me. Me being stupid fell for it and unblocked him on whatsapp.

He started telling me he loved me and that he was upset and lost and that there was no one like me. I told him to get lost, that I had moved on.

He kept asking over and over if I loved him. I said I did love him but abused of my love.

He said I shd be "begging him" and apologising.

I said I was probably suffering from memory loss as I didn't recall why I shd be begging him and asked him to reminded me.

His answer was: you're too clever.

I said: that's very you to say that.

Then he told me he had fallen in love with someone else and that she was real and I wasn't.

I said I was happy for him and I had hoped he gotten the closure he needed.

Then before I blocked him again he said: I'm lost and I'm playing games.

Then I pressed the "blocked button"



Shocking behaviour

[Dolly rocker]

So, it had being nearly a month that I decided to leave and iniciated NC.

Yesterday he called me up at 4:00 am I didn't answer. So he left me a ridiculous voice mail saying he wasn't dreaming of calling me but he needed to tell me something.

He called again and I didn't answer, so he started writting messages. Said he had something "urgent" to tell me. Me being stupid fell for it and unblocked him on whatsapp.

He started telling me he loved me and that he was upset and lost and that there was no one like me. I told him to get lost, that I had moved on.

He kept asking over and over if I loved him. I said I did love him but abused of my love.

He said I shd be "begging him" and apologising.

I said I was probably suffering from memory loss as I didn't recall why I shd be begging him and asked him to reminded me.

His answer was: you're too clever.

I said: that's very you to say that.

Then he told me he had fallen in love with someone else and that she was real and I wasn't.

I said I was happy for him and I had hoped he gotten the closure he needed.

Then before I blocked him again he said: I'm lost and I'm playing games.

Then I pressed the "blocked button"



Shocking behaviour

[Cimbaruns]

Dolly rocker

So frustrating when this sort of engagement takes place. Sometimes they are triggered by what is going on for them in that particular moment. It is based on what "they" need at the time.

The inability of him being able to reach you makes it all the more frustrating so they ramp it up until you have a moment of weakness and allow them access

The NC is extremely important here... . for your sake.

I played this game for a very long time and only now do I recognize it doesn't allow me the ability to move forward.

As soon as I would allow the door to open... . it was all out craziness.

Be strong and block him from all access... . email phone text FB ... . you'll be better off for doing it!

Hang in there... .

Everyone here is supportive

[Tausk]

Shocking behaviour

HI Dolly:  I'm sorry for the pain.  Even more sadly, it's not Shocking behavior (U.S. spelling  ), it's the Disorder.

It's extinguish burst, split thinking,... .

How are you doing?  Are you seeing a T?  Do you have friends who can support you. Can you find closure from this last interaction? 

It will take more time to process, and there will be times when you will be asking yourself how could he move on so quickly.  How can I still be in so much pain, and he's just so happy now.  Maybe it was me.  Maybe I could have done something different... . Maybe I should check in with him.

Stay on the board.  It's difficult, but it sounds like you're processing.

Thanks for sharing.

T

[Surnia]

Wow, Dolly, what a strange exchange. 

How do you feel right now?

[LA4610]

Be strong and block him from all access... . email phone text FB ... . you'll be better off for doing it!

yup... . this advice is spot on. if it escalates further, i would send a text, email (anything that can be used as evidence) saying something along the lines of "leave me alone or i will call the police". if he doesn't leave you alone, call them. trust me, he will call them on you in a heartbeat.

that really is a crazy exchange... . what a disordered person. reminds me of my ex!  

[Dolly rocker]

Thank u so much guys!

This morning he texted me apologising for messaging me last night.

So I wrote back saying it was good that we both got closure, and could finaly move on.

He replied asking how do I get closure and added "that I don't get how he thinks and that he's got a major problem"

I told him I was very aware of his problem but I tried my best and my best wasn't enough so I was jumping ship.

He said he knew it was over and that I was an "idiot" and finished saying: "leave me the hell alone".

Hahahaha I have to laugh! He was the one contacting me! He was the one saying he loved me!

I mean What the heck!

I think that the fact he started seeing someone else has finaly made me realise what a loser he is.

I think I'm ready to finaly move on now!

[growing_wings]

I think I'm ready to finaly move on now!

Hey Dolly rocker... seems like you got some closure!.

so, what will you do in the case that he contacts you again? i am not saying he will, but what IF?

[Dolly rocker]

I know him too well. And I'm 100% sure he will try to contact me again!

But the whole thing has gone too far. I could never forgive him now. I've got too much pride. So this the end.

NC forever!

I don't need losers in my life!

[growing_wings]

NC forever!

[Dolly rocker]

Like I said, I know him too well.

He's called twice and just sent me a txt msg that doesn't make any sense!

Idiot!

[Dolly rocker]

And thank u so much guys, for all your support.

I'm not talking to anyone about it, and T here in the UK is very expensive.

I'm so embarrassed to tell my family and friends.

I have no one to talk to about it, so here's the only place I find comfort.

It keepse same when I doubt my own sanity!

Thank u!

[growing_wings]

Like I said, I know him too well.

He's called twice and just sent me a txt msg that doesn't make any sense!

Idiot!

sounds like you are in for a bit of a rocky ride!...

stay strong and determined.

[Dolly rocker]

"sounds like you are in for a bit of a rocky ride!... "

It has always been this way, Growing_Wings! :-(

But hes got someone new. I just dont get why hes still causing chaos.

He probably got disappointed in his new r/s and realises how good I was. I don't know.

It's all crazy stuff.

And he always chooses to upset me when I'm on holiday trying to get my mind off things!  

[growing_wings]

And he always chooses to upset me when I'm on holiday trying to get my mind off things!  

well, time to not let him upset you. use this holiday to get YOU to a better place ... . enjoy the holiday!

[Dolly rocker]

He called again today as no id caller and texted me yesterday asking me to go and talk on whatsapp. I ignored him. And I'm not answering his calls.

Once he said to me: ignoring me is the worse thing u can do to me.

So now I'm wondering if he'll keep harassing me cos the more I push him away/ignore the more he feels inclined to get in touch with me?

[Surnia]

  Dolly

My guess is he will try now, since he had some success yesterday. So its really important that you will stay strong and consequent now. No whatsapp, no texts, no emails, no calls. Each time you will answer you are rewarding a behavior you don't want.