My Temporary NC Plan Foiled

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Given the schedule, it was likely I wouldn't run into her for a month. She finally texted back thanking me for the pic I sent her almost 24 hours ago. But she asked the address for S4's dental appointment tomorrow to which I am taking him (he's on my insurance). Oh well, I suppose I really need to get myself together about all of this and buck up. Getting ready for those subtle devaluations she is likely to say in front of the dentist and S4, because its my fault he got cavities and put off seeing the dentist for months throughout the detachment. Somehow, this all became my responsibility, even though we share responsibility for their medical issues though that insurance is also mine.

[Turkish]

Given the schedule, it was likely I wouldn't run into her for a month. She finally texted back thanking me for the pic I sent her almost 24 hours ago. But she asked the address for S4's dental appointment tomorrow to which I am taking him (he's on my insurance). Oh well, I suppose I really need to get myself together about all of this and buck up. Getting ready for those subtle devaluations she is likely to say in front of the dentist and S4, because its my fault he got cavities and put off seeing the dentist for months throughout the detachment. Somehow, this all became my responsibility, even though we share responsibility for their medical issues though that insurance is also mine.

[Tausk]

Hey Turk:  

Hang in there.  NC with kids between you is going to very difficult.  Perhaps a more realistic goal is No Emotional Attachment.  I know, very hard with the triggers, but an objective nonetheless.  

I know how hard it is to sit back and have to listen to the smear campaign.  I'm a rough guy with a loud voice and when I'm pissed it scares everyone.  So it was very easy to claim abuse to everyone who would listen.   But over time, anyone whose opinion matters has figured out, maybe not the whole truth, but has reserved judgement on me based on individual interaction and not via hearsay.

You are a great dad.  You don't have to perfect to be great.  And that is what will carry you through much of the hardship.  You don't have to prove your devotion to the children through words, your actions will speak for itself.

And again, try to remember it's a Disorder.  It's not personal.  It really isn't.  It's just the way it is.  

Sadness for them, recovery for us.

In support

T